Life Lesson, Wait, What?!

When opportunities arise in parenting that provide the most perfect moment to teach a life lesson I am giddy with glee.  Finally, a situation in which I can use what my child has most honestly walked into blindly as an example of something never to (or always to) be repeated again in their future.

Plus I don't become the enemy in the process.  In these cases I'm typically the good guy, rescuing them and teaching them something they will forever remember with fondness.  

Or maybe this happens.

At Publix tonight, the store we are in no less than 2 days a week and which is as close to the Cheers! bar atmosphere as I will probably get when I walk in each time.  I can ask either Jack or Duke to get any regular item for the basket and they will know which aisle and shelf it is on and bring it back.  Yes, we are there that often.  

And on Wednesday it is usually popcorn chicken for dinner as we grab the few items we need mid week, and enough of course to qualify for the "penny item" for the day, bring the coupon from the paper, buy $10 worth of items, get the "penny item" for a penny!  

Tonight however, no popcorn chicken.  Oh woe!  How can they not have popcorn chicken!  It's got to be a mistake, this is not a fair life!  At least that was the message being portrayed by said 7 year old to the point I was ready to walk out of the store.  However after giving him the look that we have been practicing, he felt chicken tenders could satisfy as a replacement and I offered to let them sit in the cafe (bunch of tables with a condiment cart at the front of the store) and eat rather than walk around with me.  I sweetened the deal with a few onion rings and thought how perfect this would be.  I had only about 5 items to grab, plenty of time for them to sit and finish and I could check on them each time I came back to the front of the aisle.

Now don't go all Neglectful Parent!!! on me.  And Mom and Mom in Law, breathe, I would not do this anywhere, anytime.  The store was slow, Mr. Ron was right there in customer service and I told him my plan and at least 2 other employees stopped to talk to them while they first sat down.  There were also three other people in the store shopping that we knew.  Finally as a last line of defense should anyone try and kidnap my children I guarantee all it would take is Jack opening his mouth and they'd run for the hills. Seriously the kid can scream like a banshee just because his brother is sitting too close to him.

So down Aisle 1 I go and there they are, eating nicely, on opposite sides of the table and catty corner even so no fear of hands getting onto one another.  Success!  On to aisle 2!

Aisle 2, chicken tenders - check! onion rings - check!  Duke's jacket - check!  Kids... um not so much.

Do I feel my body get tense, hair prickly, fear rising in my throat!!  um not so much.  I turn to check the water fountain on the other end of the checkout lanes.  Kids - check!

I expect them to turn and walk back, well 50% of me expected that.  The other 50% of me expected them to get distracted by the giant Redbox machine next to the water fountain and ogle and coo at the Coming Soon! movies and Now in Blue Ray! deals.  The latter 50% won out.

I could walk down, grab them by the collar, drag them back and admonish them for leaving all of their things sitting in the cafe where anyone can walk up and throw them away and bingo - dinner is over.  Or - LIFE LESSON MOMENT!

I pack up the jacket and food, hiding them in my cart so when they come and find me, no doubt upset, or possibly even silent, afraid to admit they left all their things and went off and got distracted, I can gently and kindly teach them a lesson about being responsible for our things.

Off to Aisle 3.

But then, as reach the end of the aisle, as I'm expecting to find them headed toward me in one of the two certain states of emotion, instead they are headed back from the deli with two brand new trays of onion rings and chicken tenders.

It seems that independence thing I've worked on since their birth is actually working, yea backfire.

I ask them where they got the new food and they calmly tell me that they told one of their Publix buddies that someone threw away their food, so he took them to the deli and got them more.  Seems that "be friendly to the people you see all the time at the store and call them by their first name" thing is actually working, yea backfire.

As I reach them and learn the journey of their newly acquired meals, I let them in on my LIFE LESSON. "Tricker!  Mom you tricked us!  That's not nice, that's just wrong!"  And both end up in tears, upset at ME for taking their things when they were "only getting a drink of water!  What?!  Are we supposed to just be THIRSTY!?"

At this point I don't know whether to laugh or cringe at the thought of spending now $10 on chicken tenders and onion rings, because I WILL go back to the deli and get them to weigh it and charge me.

My kids can officially outsmart me.  Life Lesson Learned.

The Penny

What is a blog for if not to write about the most intimate moments in the life of your family.  I mean who can keep up with all that baby book business, dates of the first teeth coming in, dates of the first teeth being lost, vaccinations, first words, gifts and their givers from each birthday celebration.  The thought is exhausting.  It's a good thing I have boys who would probably toss the books in a box in an attic for the duration of their lives only to be damaged by the elements and disintegrate before ever being looked at again.  At least that's what I'm hanging my hat on to avoid the guilt from all the dates and firsts I've missed writing down in the past 6 years

However, I have decided this memory book item should live in the annuls of our family story.  If not for my benefit, for Duke's so that one day if his child should decide to make the same error in judgement he did two weeks ago today, perhaps he will be ahead of the game in resolving it.

Yes, I'm talking about The Penny.

And for those facebook friends that found it a bit repulsive that I continued to update our progress in locating The Penny, I say to you, too bad.  Yes I too find some posts by others meet the TMI standard far to often, but in the process of the past two week's events, well, the posts and comments to them were the only entertaining piece of my life I could hold on to.

So, The Penny.  It entered our family innocently enough, from the change slot in my center console.  Retrieved by Duke and held on to during our drive home that evening as if it were a shiny gold doubloon from Jake and the Neverland Pirates themselves.  I faintly remember him snatching it and even more faintly remember getting out of the car and walking in the house with his luggage for the day.  I do remember telling the boys no less than three times to turn back around and gather their items from the car before getting in the shower, since it was 7pm and bedtime was on the horizon.

And then it happened, just after that third "Go back to the car and get your book bag and anything else you've left and put it up."  Duke looked up at me, near terror in his eyes, "I JUST SWALLOWED THE PENNY!"

"WHAT PENNY?!?!?!?!"

"THE PENNY, IN MY MOUTH..."

(and yes, all caps BECAUSE WE WERE SHOUTING)

"WHAT PENNY IN YOUR MOUTH...WHY WAS THERE A PENNY IN YOUR MOUTH??!??...YOU ARE FIVE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH A PENNY IN YOUR MOUTH??!!??!?"

"AM I GOING TO HAVE TO HAVE SURGERY TO GET IT OUT?  I DON'T WANT THEM TO CUT IT OUT OF ME!!!!!

Insert here...Mom slapped back into reality.

"Buddy, wait, I'm sorry, it's going to be OK.  You are not going to have to have surgery."  (Thinking...he's not choking, he's talking, WOW that sucker went right down quick!)

Duke, eyes WIDE at me, "BUT HOW WILL IT COME OUT?!?!??"

And there my friends is where the journey began.

As a precaution I did call the after hours offices and leave a message for a nurse who couldn't give any medical advice over the phone but who did reassure me that likely since he had no problem with swallowing it, that it would "reappear" in due time.

Well, since I am a Type A control freak (shocking to all of you I know), I knew immediately what this meant, 24/7 monitoring of Duke in hopes of payment in kind.

The next morning, naively hopeful, I kept him at the office with me. Loaded with workbooks, pencils and his Leappad, off we went. After a check in call to the pediatrician it was decided an X-ray would be wise to verify the penny had indeed traveled to its first needed destination, Duke's tummy.  So after a quick visit to Children's South we got this

Confirmation!

We managed until 2pm when the Alabama snow sent us off to pick up his brother and avoid the hassles of driving in flurries. You have not truly experienced weather related chaos until you've lived through the threat of snow in Alabama. And since there was zilch on the reappearance indicator, it was a fine dinner of brown rice, broccoli and chicken and promises that we'd have that ole coin the next day!  Right?!

Ummm, no, and not the next, the next, the next...you get the picture. On top of it, although Cory returned from his traveling adventures Friday and kept Duke with him so I didn't have to play Mom at the office, he wasn't feeling all that well and when he woke up Saturday and drove straight to Urgent Care my fears were confirmed - Flu.  Great, so my 3 days of having him home since the 1st turned into 3 days of solo parenting with an added bonus of being tied nearly constantly to the house to await The Penny.  And on the one occasion it might have appeared, I got the added pleasure of confirming whether or not it did with the aid of a plastic fork and a gas mask.

Monday, being MLK Day meant the kids were off school and since Cory was on the road again (have I mentioned my severe dislike for all things Willie Nelson)...me, kids, working from home and The Penny.  Not an ideal combination at the level my patience had reached. However, based on the days "results" it was fairly certain I'd be ok in sending him to school for the morning and picking him up at 11:45 carpool to observe the rest of the day's progress.  And nothing...

And on we went through the week, one day with me at the office, one morning at school, me leaving early.  I'm not even going to tell my sob story of all the work I was behind on and how working from home with two kids meant me either letting them zone out in front of the TV or Leappad or supervising them attempting to get their chores finished in about 10 times the length of time it would take for me to just do them myself.  (Growing character and preparing them for the real world is higher on my priority list however.  That and making sure my future daughter in laws will worship me for what great husbands they found.)

By Friday afternoon, I was what I can only classify as A COMPLETE WRECK.  Buried under at the office with major deadlines looming the following week, patience weary to the point of nonexistence and severely stressed about why The Penny was taking so long to meander out of my child's body.  On top of this,the longer The Penny remained, the more concern and questioning from Duke.  It was apparent by at least the one week mark that he too was concerned The Penny may have decided his intestines were a better resting place than his piggy bank.

So on the drive home Friday afternoon after picking up Jack (early again) when Duke started complaining of his stomach hurting, panic set in.  !!! Obviously The Penny hasn't appeared because it's now lodged itself into his large intestine and is eating away at the lining which will cause lifelong pain and anguish and mean I will have only one shot at grandchildren of my own - and that from the son who has assured me he never wants to get married, only build a house across the lake from us so he can come and have breakfast with me everyday.  (Whole other blog post right there).

Ok, maybe not that panicked, but definitely worried enough to get him home quickly to see if it's pain that might be ready to produce The Penny, or something else.  After 30 minutes of observation, I felt a call to the doc was probably in order.  And his advice?  Err on the side of caution and drive back to Children's South (ironically next door to their school where we were 2 hours prior) and have another look see.  And this is what we looked and see'd...

So Friday night, Cory reenters life at Sterling Creek Ranch and yet The Penny eludes.  It's at this point I realize that I have been a ball of stress, barely hanging onto my sanity.  Well that, and also the fact I've agreed to take Duke and a friend to their classmates birthday party on Saturday morning, at the zoo.  The wonderful, exciting but not so neutral smelling, Birmingham Zoo. Where the possibility of The Penny making it's appearance is probably a 4 on a scale of 1 to 5 in timing a reappearance.  Plastic forks get packed in the purse.  Fantastic.

Apparently God is a kind and loving being, for He did not bless me with the opportunity to fork through a toilet in a public restroom (at least this go around).  We had a great time at the party - one that was not going to be missed since it was highlighted with an appearance by Chris and Martin Kratt of PBS's "Wild Kratts" and had one little boy quite in awe of meeting someone that's "really on TV!"

But that evening, in not so amazing fashion as it started, The Penny did appear.  To both Duke's delight, "Dad I pooped it out!  Wanna see????!!!!"  And my relief, literally.

And so my friends, although I never thought I would surpass this post on pooping, Duke did it, again.

The Car, Where Imagination Lives

I'm not a fan of preschoolers with technology. I know that a little bit of time spent on the computer or iPhone can be educational and in the right place and at the right time, we set limits. But we aren't a DS family, and the only time it's allowed in the car are on extended travel trips, and even then, it's the DVD player for a movie.

It's a rule I set when they were just toddlers, mainly because due to our commute, we spend more than your average amount of time on weekdays in the car. And secondly because I heard a story once about a 16 year old that passed their drivers exam only to get lost finding their way out of their subdivision because he had spent the previous 12 years with his nose pressed into an electronic game or watching a DVD player non stop and let me say, not gonna be my kid someone else blogs about.

I even go so far as to keep the radio off most of the time. I have my two boys strapped in their seats for an uninterrupted minimum 45 minutes a day, and by God I'm going to use it to my advantage. Granted, most days that involves at least one threat of me pulling over the car if the arguing doesn't stop and there has been more than one ocassion that my hands were gripping the wheel so tightly to avoid screaming "SHUT UP!!!" at the top of my lungs - all while listening to one or the other sob incessantly because I denied them a free cookie at the Publix bakery after they had spent the 45 minute trip through the store pummeling one another in the seat of the grocery cart.

But some days, it's a blessing and we get to talk about the "beautiful colors" - penned by Duke, of the sunrise or sunset or Jack asks a question about whether something he witnessed at school was right or wrong and why and we talk about what our family stands for and the reasons we might do things differently than other families. But mostly, it's the steering wheel thing...

Today however was a "wish I had a tape recorder handy" drive.

It started innocently enough, both asking for the old, long battery dead, flip phones that I've thrown into their toy box - two of them had migrated this week into the car. What I next witnessed nearly brought me to laugh out loud. And make note, there is no actual power to either phone.

"Beep, boop, beep. I'm going to be the yellow Ironman with a jet pak"

"Yeah, me too, no wait, Ironman can't be yellow. I'm downloading Mario Cars 7"

"Oh yeah, is it done yet?"

"No, you have to wait...ok, it's downloaded. Beep, boop, beep.. yea! I'm on the top of the building!"

"I'm playing Battleship."

"You have Battleship on your iPhone? That's cool, did you download it?"

"Yeah, it's cool. Beep, boop, CRASH! I got it! You got to play this game Jack! It's awesome!"



And for the next 10 minutes, the two of them PRETENDED to play IMAGINARY games on BROKEN old phones INTERACTING with one another the entire time. And it ended with this...

"I'm turing off my iPhone, I've had enough time on it today."

"Yeah, it's time for it to be put up."

This is what this tech saavy Mom, who spends more than her share of her work day on a computer either progamming or teaching others how to interact with techonology and who wants to be especially careful that her kids grow up to be able to have a dinner conversation at a restaurant with the other people at the table rather than showing off the tops of their heads as they are bent over a screen, calls a successful drive home. I know I cannot completely avoid techonology in our lives, and I don't want to, but I can delay it and control it's appearance when it's appropriate and beneficial.

WIN!

Highlands Kids Here We Come!

Saturday while Cory was spending the late afternoon in one of the deer blinds waiting to see what might visit his newly planted apple orchard and I was cooking up one of our last family meals before the holidays ended and our daily work/daycare schedule started up again, the boys were getting their "sillies" out.  We managed nearly an entire day home without turning the TV on so far and I was stretching it out to see how long they'd go before I needed the break of 30 minutes of Curious George or The Gruffalo.

What happened next was something that made my heart leap for joy.  At least leap for hope of joy.

As a family we've been members at Church of the Highlands for going on 9 or 10 years now I think.  Those of you close to us know it was the vehicle that probably the biggest influence in changing our lives.  (And that's BIG).  From Dinks to 40 with preschoolers faster than Earnhart and Gordon race around the oval at Talladega.  And although I grew up Catholic, for me it was this place and the people we have connected through it that brought me to a relationship with God.  It's not just the awesome messages given by Pastor Chris, but the place it has taken in our everyday lives.  (Of course any of my co-workers will tell you I still have a ways to go, but improvement is better than nothing!)

While we attend Sunday services, the kids get to participate in their own activities in the Nursery-Duke's in The Fire Station and it's the PreSchool "Clubhouse" for Jack.  I used to be on the Dream Team and work video back in the early days of the church but since the move to the Grants Mill campus and having the kids, it's not been feasible for me to get back yet to helping on Sundays.  I've often wondered what really goes on for the kids, other than just playing and puzzles and the L'il K and Veggie Tales videos.

Well, apparently they sing too - at least in the Clubhouse, where there is a stage and chalkboard, and the kids sit in the "audience".  I should have picked up on it, but it took some music to make it click for me.

As I'm cooking away in the kitchen, suddenly I hear Jack telling Duke to "get in the audience" as he climbs up on the fireplace his "stage".  Then out of the mouths of babes I hear, well, you can hear it yourself...

For those of you that are wondering, it's Hillsong Kid's "One Way (Jesus)" and I knew I recognized it when Jack first started singing it but as soon as I figured it out, I was grabbing for my iTouch and iTunes and downloading it for the car. 

And the feeling I had as I listened to them ask me to play it for the 10th time was...finally, I'm doing something RIGHT!   They are ready for Worship time at Highlands!

note to viewers: The "dots" in Duke's pants are two flashlights they got for Christmas.  I apologize for the graininess from the poor lighting.  But Duke's moves near the middle are entirely worth watching the full 1:36, that kid has some flexible joints!!