Can't Get Any Better Than This

I am sitting in my room with LOST on the tube, listening to Jack's second night without paci and the latest rendition of "I need my Maaahhmmeee" coming over the monitor. Ohhh...new line just hollered, "I wanna get down!", tonite might get even more interesting which I truly didn't think would be possible after the past 36 hours, especially considering what happened at bath tonite.

That's right, life in my house has gone to a new level.

For those of you in the know, you are aware our blessed baby, actually I guess he is technically a toddler now at 16 mos, Duke, is a tub pooper. I guess you could call it occaissional, but on that little trick anything more than once a year in my opinion is a trend. My friend Lara at the office has reminded me several times that you aren't truly a parent until you've chased poop around the tub with your bare hands, well, let me say I've done it, more than once, verging on often, usually while Cory is out of town.

Back to tonite. And please excuse the following three details, but they are significant to the overall story...it was nearing time for bath, both kids had just pooped but had not yet been changed and when Duke poops, it's usually in tandem - one, and about 5 minutes later, the second show.

So, as we are watching Word World both darlings do their daily business, and honestly I feel like it's perfect timing since it's clean them up and put them to bed next. So, Duke goes first and like his usual self, second show is just about ready to begin. And what better opportunity for him to do it right there on the potty. He's too young to potty train of course, but when things are right there and set-up for his brother, may as well skip the step of dumping it from the diaper and having him put it right there on his own. Which he does, so clean up his bum and into the tub.

Now it's Jack's turn, but we have to start with brushing teeth, then washing hands, and next, changing pullup. Great, perfect, clean the bum and socks off and then ... crap ... literally, in the tub, again. Guess Duke decided tonite he'd perform the Triple Lindy. Fabulous. Really. But stick with me, it gets WAY better. And best you start the visual imaging from here, 'cause I promise it gets really good.

Jack, still in his t-shirt and socks but pantless, is told to seat himself on the step stool by the sink while I simultaneously grab Duke around the chest and catch the last of the poop coming out of his butt with my other hand. That gets tossed in the toilet and Duke gets laid on the towel on the floor, butt wiped and hands and feet and anything else that was touching water that had poop floating in it quickly scanned and wiped down. Remaining poop, and poop tub toys, thrown in the toilet and sink and water drained while I grab the bottle of Spray Bleach from under the sink and quickly spray everything down. Jack, thankfully, is still sitting quietly on the stool watching all of this when I realize there is a spot of poop on the towel Duke is laying on. So up he goes, naked to sit on the 2nd stool next to Jack. I am about finished wiping down the tub enough to be able to put the kids back in it, when I see the 4th quarter come out of Duke, onto the stool, and his hands, and his foot and the rug and the floor and onto Jack who decides this is a good time to hold hands with his brother Duke.

Don't laugh, it could have been you, on 4 hours sleep from the night before, with poop everywhere. But wait, there's more.

Duke gets set back on the potty, at least that way he can safely go into overtime if necessary. Jack is told to stand up and wash his hands in the sink, by a mother that has completely forgotten that's where the poop tub toys are and which he begins playing with instead of washing his hands. Duke is wiggling on the toilet, I get Jack's hands clean and turn around to see the dog licking the poop off the rug and floor.

Yep, it's just doesn't get any better than this. I guess in some way, this is my payback for laying on a beach for 6 hours on Friday. Either way, those 6 hours kept me from losing my mind tonite. Instead I am still laughing about it.

I have to, it's an hour since I started this post and although the "I wanna get down" cries are staggered occaissionally by 30 seconds of silence, they are still echoing through the damn monitor. Wait, here's a new one, and no doubt he's defnitely working it now "I need tee tee potty!"

Looks like another glass of wine for me tonite. Did I mention Cory gets back on Friday?

For Those Wondering

I've talked and facebooked with some of you on the results of the dental visit, but in a nutshell here's where things stand.

His two top front teeth did show trauma, whatever that means. You can see on the back side of the teeth at the gumline where they were pulled away from the gum a bit. The dentist, who I genuinely liked, did not take xrays yet because at first glance he could see they were loose and painful. So we go back in 2 weeks for those. Right now he said soft foods for 2 weeks and a couple things could happen.

They could be fine.

They could abcess, in a week, in a month, in a year and need to be pulled.

They could turn gray.

They could be fractured at the root and need pulled.

So, basically that's all we know. He had a rough time at dinner, spoon caused pain when he was eating some yogurt, then didn't want any pasta. Straw cup doesn't work well unless he remembers to put it to the side of his mouth.

We'll see how today goes. Just hoping for the first option above to happen.

Regardless, the paci was a no brainer. I was not going to take a chance at making things worse by giving it to him. Especially since it eventually has to go away anyway. Nothing like being forced into that decision :(

So, that being said, last night did not go what I would categorize as a good first night without the paci.

At 10:30 after 2+ hours of him crying and me in and out of his room to calm him down I finally gave in and rubbed his back until he fell asleep (took less than 3 minutes, he was so exhausted).

He was up again at 1:30am for 30 minutes and again at 4:30am for an hour. I am not heartless and just letting him "cry" for those of you that think that is heartless, but am trying to console him without creating more of a mess and substituting myself for his not having a paci.

Not once in the night did he ask for his paci by name. I thought that was interesting.

I prepped him at bathtime about the paci by telling him I heard he took his nap without a paci, to which he replied "yep" and then said that the Paci Fairy had come to take his other paci's and give them to the baby geese (we see a lot of those this time of year). And that George, a friendly monkey (we were given a Curious George stuffed doll and book at Christmas by my cousin Jill and I had squandered it away for a later day) had come to say thank you and stay with him instead.

We read books with George which he thought was especially cool and had our usual bedtime, then the long night began.

Intead the crying started as "I go by Mommy (pronounced mahhhhmeeee)" which moved to "I want Mommy!" then onto "I need Mommy!" and occaisional substitution of Mommy with "taggie" (his blanket) when he chucked that out of the bed hoping I'd come in to retrieve it for him (he gets 1 chance at it and knows if a 2nd time happens it's gone) and/or "water" which he did not get.

He has just fallen back asleep (which I will have to get him up for school in an hour) and will no doubt be exhausted today, as I can guarantee I will be as well, only to have to likely repeat this joyous experience again tonite.

So, that's the night in a nutshell. I knew this day would eventually come, though I had hoped he would be a more cooperative part of the process by giving the paci up on his own, instead of being forced to do so because of this injury. And I'm not certain I want to answer a bunch of phone calls and emails about the experience yet, so don't be suprised if this is the only mention from me today.

I'd really rather not relive it until I have to, which I expect will begin about 14 hours from now.

I do want to thank many of you for the emails and fb comments of support. I do appreciate it!

Paci Goes Bye Bye...

Just got a call from daycare. Jack took a tumble on the playground and knocked his front teeth on the concrete. One is loose and bleeding at the gumline slightly. I called a pediatric dentist and we have an appointment at 3pm. Since nap time is post haste, I am keeping him there for nap and will pick him up after for the appointment. However, instructions given - no paci at naptime. Can't risk it causing further problems.

Looks like we'll be going cold turkey on it tonite. No time like the present.

Stay tuned.

I think I will have plenty of time to post on this past weekend's trip to the beach too, I'd imagine I will be awake a few extra hours over the next few nights.

Wish me luck (Daddy got revenge, he's in Kentucky until Friday night!)

Where Did My Baby Go?

It was time. People in the grocery store would comment, "She's soooo cute!" - why, I have no idea since my kids don't even own a yellow shirt that might be mistakenly confused for something a little girl would wear.

So I bit the bullet, we got Duke's hair cut. A real hair cut (no trimmers just yet, but may as well have).

Later last night, out of the corner of my eye I saw one of the kids bending over to pick up a toy, and for a split second I thought it was Jack. But it wasn't, it was Baby Duke...growing up.

Overheard (or seen)

Mommy to Duke upon pickup at daycare tonite:

"Ms. Jordan will get you some more snack before we leave, (as Ms. Jordan hands Duke the cup of animal crackers), what do you say?"

Duke:

Signs his hand across his chest for "please!" (for the first time!)

All Mommy hoped for was a thank you, since he knows that sign. First time I've seen him respond to a question other than Eat? with sign language!

These are the days I live for!

Facelift Needed, Any ProBono Surgeons?

I'm not exactly looking for a facelift...more like a "shape"lift, "style"lift. I went shopping last Sunday for a whole 2 hours without kids, which was fantastic, except that I spent the entire time trying on clothes and then second guessing every choice and ultimately walked out of The Gap with yet another "favorite T" in white.

Why is it that I find it so hard to find my style? I know part of the problem is I have a very adverse reactions to spending money on myself. (It's a Sarah thing, and I fear it will never change, which may be my downfall in all of this) I will buy for the kids, for my friends, for my family, even for charity, yet I will not part with more than $20 for a pair of jeans that I will wear for no less than 5 years. I'm serious! My outfit this a.m. to church consisted of a pair of gray slacks-purchased circa 2003; a black cashmere v-neck-Christmas gift from Cory, same year; black boots-purchased on same trip as gray slacks; and aforementioned Gap white favorite t. The only other items on my body less than 6 years old consisted of unmentionables that must be replaced at least a few times a year for fear of driving away my spouse.

Part of the issue also stems from the fact that I HATE TO SHOP. I know, I was meant to be born a boy. I am starting to be more and more convinced that something happened at birth that my parents have refused to admit, I really was Benjamin Burgess. (Benji, can you imagine what would have happened to that poor kid when the movie in the mid 70s came out?!)

About 2 years ago I stole my sister Clare's latest day style, which consisted of layering Gap, J Crew, etc. t's. LOVED IT! Great for runinng around with small kids, comfy, cozy, and although I can get away with it at the office because I have a FANTASTIC job, it's time for a change toward something a little more appropriate for one approaching 40 (EGADS!) Clare has the luck of having a body that can wear anything and look good. Plus she's far more feminine than I manage - I do live on a farm after all. And add to that the gift of ta-ta's from my mother and you have a recipe for fashion disaster!

My sister Ali sent me a link months ago to a website called My Shape where you enter all your measurements and it sets a profile for you and suggests clothing based on your size and body style. I finally logged on today and well, let's just say I am now even MORE depressed about the shopping thing. The only saving grace is that I attempted to measure myself since Cory is out bulding a dock on the pond today and so I am praying that I just did a poor job at it and therefore the shape it returned is not in fact the right one for me. If it is, I will be stepping up the daily excersie regimen a notch this week!

Cory, bless his heart (southern snark!), tries to assuage my depression in this arena. But it's just not going to work for him. He's a guy, his dream was to live on a farm and work in the great outdoors, he would be happy in a flannel and jeans, every day. However, since I have no aversion to buying clothes for him at the holidays and he received numerous freebie shirts from the companies we work for, he does have some variety. Honestly, I have less clothes in our closet than he does - because #1 I hold onto anything that I do like for decades, and #2 if I don't wear it I get rid of it. So combine that with not shopping save for maybe one trip a year to the outlet in Tennessee where my in-laws live, I am being serious - he has more clothes than I do.

So, if any of you reading this are friends here in town, do whatever it takes to drag my resistant to change self out of the house and shopping with you...and soon! Don't take no for an answer and don't let me try to come up with excuses about how Cory has been out of town so much and the kids need to have family time on the weekend. I will throw every one of them at you, but you must be strong and willful against me. Something must change because I want to be the hip 40 mom and I have only 2 years to get there and at the rate I'm going....well, Gap t's are timeless, aren't they?

Victoria - This One's For You!

We have many sweet neices...

Alyssa, our oldest and therefore the quiet, responsible one (much like her mother);

Haley, the only daughter of Cory's brother who is our fashion queen yet brainiac...what an awesome mix!;

Hannah, the child of animals, she has a gift with them - they speak to her and she speaks to them in a way no one else can match;

Caroline, the only niece on my side of the family, (can any more be said?), she is sweet and precocious and let's just say....she's Caroline;

and then there is Victoria...she's not the youngest (at least in the mix of grandkids), she's not the oldest, but boy does she have something! Victoria has the gift of living life to the fullest. We have become e-mail pals and she never ceases to amaze me with the wisdom she has beyond her years...(ok V, come down from the clouds for a minute... :) Honestly, I love to read other momblogs and one I love for her humor and insight is Mom-101 who I read about in Parents magazine about a year ago, and I was completely honored to have her post a comment to my blog one day and yet the idea for the post came from Victoria herself! (I secretly sometimes wish I was a NY brownstone living chick who worked in a high rise (or my NY apartment) and had the wit and humor to write my own weekly column!)

I like to think of Victoria was the 4th child in a family that was made to have 10 - always on the go and always crazy with this and that but with more than enough love to go around. She loves to laugh and tease and tell jokes (what's that one about the Mexican and the colors again?) and has a smile that will put you in a good mood no matter how your day went. And often, her e-mails do just that for me.

So, Victoria, you may have already seen this video from a few weeks ago on facebook (if your Mom let you have a peek) but if not...enjoy, this one is for you (because I think if you were here, you would have been on the slide right there with them!)