Tuesday, June 16, 2009


Why do I do this?

I think my brain is wired to be an apothecary table - think episode of Friends - The One where Rachel REALLY wanted such a dresser of many drawers from Pottery Barn but had to lie to Phoebe about buying at an antique shop because Phoebe was absolutely against buying anything at Pottery Barn?

I have all these little drawers in my little mind and each one holds an idea, task, need, desire, addiction, project, purpose, hope, dream....and on and on and on.

I open up one, get really involved in it, tweak it, get it almost finished and ready to remove from said drawer and then sadly, I must close it and open another because there are something around 63 other drawers that are staring at me in the face still closed that I need to get back to (or started).

When exactly do you get to the point of just opening a drawer, working on the contents to completion and then closing it, empty but feeling satisfied that you do not need to fill it with yet something else.

Just curious. Does that ever really happen?

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Sweet Silence!

I am jinxing myself...I just know it!

As mentioned, I stepped up the discipline (and no - I am not "popping his bottom" every chance I get)...but have been conscious to be even more consistent and patient (and strangely calm in te past week) in my dealings with Jack's uprisings. Could it be the recent breaks I've gotten traveling to California and Missouri, my birthday? Could it be watching Crystal give him a 7 minute timeout on Sunday when he was acting up while the Schober's were over and it working and me realizing he actually can follow instruction better than I give him credit for? Whatever it is, I've been rewarded...

Barely a peep at bedtime with our new routine.

Clare - you almost called it. I didn't give him a "pass" to call me back, but I did institute a 5-10 minute reading time in his bed after lights out, and I come back to rub his back for a couple minutes and then I'm gone, completely, not going back. And it's working. 20 minutes of crying last night...2 min. tonite tops!

I can hardly believe it.
Sleep training miracle? Leaving the terrible two's behind? Finally wore the little bugger down?

We'll see how tomorrow goes...

Oh, did I mention Duke now responds, Yes Ma'am, when I ask, "Do you understand?"
2nd shot at this might last a bit shorter. (I know, now I AM jinxing myself!)

Monday, June 1, 2009

When You Know What to Do, But Then Blow It

That seems to be the theme for the past several weeks. And although it has run through more than one aspect of my life lately, I will only write about a single topic that it seems to be pervasive with, the discipline machine and Jack.

Before all of my supportive friends and family start giving sweet "hang in there", "it's just a phase" and "it gets easier" comments; let me just say...don't want to hear them. I already know. I repeat these mantras to myself daily, actually, hourly. Unfortunately, it's the actual "hanging in there" I am having an issue with.

I have seemed to make a small breakthrough with the child and a bit of headway. He is acting upon my direction more quickly. I'm more patient in letting him get to the ultimate conclusion that I want him to make instead of speeding him toward what I want him to do. This avoids the formerly inevitable meltdown followed by demon possession that we had been experiencing. Hooray for me, right? Well, I got there by way of a method I had hoped to avoid - "popping his bottom". And up until tonite, it was used sparingly, because after the first two episodes, all I had to do was tell him if he didn't do what I'd asked he would get his bottom popped. And it actually worked. Unfortunately, when you make a slight change in that methodology it can back fire on you. Badly.

Tonight, another round of bedtime battles. Things on the weekend are relatively easy, the kid is exhausted after playing outside all day and I keep his nap short. But during the week, he naps or has quiet time for 2 hours and the activity level isn't quite that high. So although he needs to be in bed and asleep by 8pm, in my opinion, he is just restless. And it's not that he's overtired, honestly, he just hasn't gotten to the point of sleepy yet. However, this mama is ready for no kid time at 8pm and so there's got to be a compromise.

Back to tonite, he's in bed at 8pm, lights out and told I will check on him in 5 minutes. New attempt at avoiding the screaming fest that happens whenever I leave his room. That works...and I wait, a bit longer than 5 minutes, but I have to go back in or I'm toast with my promise. So I do, and he seems fine, until I leave. Then it's an hour long screaming, throwing, crying, attempting to negotiate, mess. And after being in and out of the room several times, loosing my patience and close to my sanity, I do the unthinkable...I ASK him if he wants his bottom popped. And he says Yes. Brilliant move.

Well, he got it popped, I felt horrible (and still do) and he wins tonite's round. I went back in 15 minutes later and picked him up and sat in the chair with him until he was nearly asleep and the feelings of being the worst mother in the world abated for the time being.

I believe future popping will be left to Daddy. Mommy just can't manage the guilt.