Life Lesson, Wait, What?!

When opportunities arise in parenting that provide the most perfect moment to teach a life lesson I am giddy with glee.  Finally, a situation in which I can use what my child has most honestly walked into blindly as an example of something never to (or always to) be repeated again in their future.

Plus I don't become the enemy in the process.  In these cases I'm typically the good guy, rescuing them and teaching them something they will forever remember with fondness.  

Or maybe this happens.

At Publix tonight, the store we are in no less than 2 days a week and which is as close to the Cheers! bar atmosphere as I will probably get when I walk in each time.  I can ask either Jack or Duke to get any regular item for the basket and they will know which aisle and shelf it is on and bring it back.  Yes, we are there that often.  

And on Wednesday it is usually popcorn chicken for dinner as we grab the few items we need mid week, and enough of course to qualify for the "penny item" for the day, bring the coupon from the paper, buy $10 worth of items, get the "penny item" for a penny!  

Tonight however, no popcorn chicken.  Oh woe!  How can they not have popcorn chicken!  It's got to be a mistake, this is not a fair life!  At least that was the message being portrayed by said 7 year old to the point I was ready to walk out of the store.  However after giving him the look that we have been practicing, he felt chicken tenders could satisfy as a replacement and I offered to let them sit in the cafe (bunch of tables with a condiment cart at the front of the store) and eat rather than walk around with me.  I sweetened the deal with a few onion rings and thought how perfect this would be.  I had only about 5 items to grab, plenty of time for them to sit and finish and I could check on them each time I came back to the front of the aisle.

Now don't go all Neglectful Parent!!! on me.  And Mom and Mom in Law, breathe, I would not do this anywhere, anytime.  The store was slow, Mr. Ron was right there in customer service and I told him my plan and at least 2 other employees stopped to talk to them while they first sat down.  There were also three other people in the store shopping that we knew.  Finally as a last line of defense should anyone try and kidnap my children I guarantee all it would take is Jack opening his mouth and they'd run for the hills. Seriously the kid can scream like a banshee just because his brother is sitting too close to him.

So down Aisle 1 I go and there they are, eating nicely, on opposite sides of the table and catty corner even so no fear of hands getting onto one another.  Success!  On to aisle 2!

Aisle 2, chicken tenders - check! onion rings - check!  Duke's jacket - check!  Kids... um not so much.

Do I feel my body get tense, hair prickly, fear rising in my throat!!  um not so much.  I turn to check the water fountain on the other end of the checkout lanes.  Kids - check!

I expect them to turn and walk back, well 50% of me expected that.  The other 50% of me expected them to get distracted by the giant Redbox machine next to the water fountain and ogle and coo at the Coming Soon! movies and Now in Blue Ray! deals.  The latter 50% won out.

I could walk down, grab them by the collar, drag them back and admonish them for leaving all of their things sitting in the cafe where anyone can walk up and throw them away and bingo - dinner is over.  Or - LIFE LESSON MOMENT!

I pack up the jacket and food, hiding them in my cart so when they come and find me, no doubt upset, or possibly even silent, afraid to admit they left all their things and went off and got distracted, I can gently and kindly teach them a lesson about being responsible for our things.

Off to Aisle 3.

But then, as reach the end of the aisle, as I'm expecting to find them headed toward me in one of the two certain states of emotion, instead they are headed back from the deli with two brand new trays of onion rings and chicken tenders.

It seems that independence thing I've worked on since their birth is actually working, yea backfire.

I ask them where they got the new food and they calmly tell me that they told one of their Publix buddies that someone threw away their food, so he took them to the deli and got them more.  Seems that "be friendly to the people you see all the time at the store and call them by their first name" thing is actually working, yea backfire.

As I reach them and learn the journey of their newly acquired meals, I let them in on my LIFE LESSON. "Tricker!  Mom you tricked us!  That's not nice, that's just wrong!"  And both end up in tears, upset at ME for taking their things when they were "only getting a drink of water!  What?!  Are we supposed to just be THIRSTY!?"

At this point I don't know whether to laugh or cringe at the thought of spending now $10 on chicken tenders and onion rings, because I WILL go back to the deli and get them to weigh it and charge me.

My kids can officially outsmart me.  Life Lesson Learned.

Our Girl

Today would have been Fisher's 18th birthday. 

I waited to write this thinking it would be easier a month later, and sometimes it is, and sometimes it's not.   I guess that those who have lost a loved one feel like that.  I've been blessed to not yet had to experience losing someone that I've been around everyday for years on end.  Until her.

And there are some that will read this and think, "Really?  Um it's a dog, you know that right?"  And those are the same people that probably have multiple pets they leave outside all day and night tied up and don't think twice about them. 

But that wasn't Fisher.

Part of the hard in this was she was there from the start.  My first birthday gift after we were married, which means she was the 2nd birthday gift Cory ever bought me.  I can tell you I can't really remember any of the others.

She was there for the move, she came into our home just before we were given the opportunity to come to Birmimgham and just 4 months later, was with us as we drove south and started a new life here in Alabama.  She was the last string of what came with us on that journey.

She was there for the hard times, faithfully bringing me her blue racquet balls at the house in Chelsea on days I didn't want to think, keeping me grounded with where I was and helping me find my way to the comeback that followed. 

She was there for the excitement of the change in direction of our lives while we prayed and hoped for a family of our own.  And there for the blessing of bringing Jack home and the gift of Duke so soon after.

She moved with us to a dream place, with a lake to swim in and lots of space to run; forest and fields and spent those first years here doing just that.

But in the last year, there was less running, less swimming and more sleeping.  And so when the time came to make the decision that I'd known needed to be made, but didn't want to make, this is why it took so long to get there.

This is why when Cory would raise the question or give an example of why it was time to let her go, I would get defensive, angry, argumentative.  Why I took a picture of her in front of the fireplace in January and dodged every single instance of his eyes looking at her and then to me for the following 2 months. 

This is why when I finally said on that Friday in March when she jumped up at Jack for his hot dog and scared him to pieces, "Ok, I understand what we need to do." 

It's why on that Monday when I called and made the appointment for the following Saturday I could barely get the words out of my mouth and wasn't sure I could breathe anymore that day.

It's why on Tuesday I begged Cory to call Dr. Tate and ask her one last time if there was anything we could do, anything we could try to help alleviate some of what we were seeing with her, the pacing around the room ending in a blank stare, the daily accidents, the falling down and slow to get up. 

It's why on Thursday Amy texted me support, asking me to consider if she was the same Fisher from just a year before, is she protective of her body or her food, does her mental state seem the same?  Reminding me she was the equivalent of 119 years old and asking me to remember that she has always been such a healthy dog, her body wouldn't go with cancer or kidney failure but it would be her mind and that in itself would be more difficult to see than any of the others. 

It's why that night, I looked at my sweet Fisher with new eyes.  I sat with her in my lap after the boys went to bed and tried to see her, but realized she wasn't there.  I saw in the mornings she seemed her, but by nightfall she was gone.  I saw that the reason Bailey laid in the living room while Fisher ate in the mud room was because she was afraid of Fisher's protectiveness.

I saw that it was time to let this sweet, warm, faithful gift in our lives go.

And so Saturday morning, at the Highlands Prayer Service I cried until I couldn't see through my tears listening to Matt Redman's "10,000 Reasons".  And when Cory met me after at Riverview with her, I could barely stand without shaking.  But I did, for her.

We sat with her, stroking her fur, reminding each other of all the good and telling her how much love she'd given us and how it would never leave our hearts. 

And when the time had come and she fell against me, my hand landing naturally to her side, I felt that love beat three times and leave her.  But it will stay with me forever.

And through tears just as strong as they were a month ago I wish my Sweet Fisher a Happy 18th Birthday.  May there be extra blue racquet balls in heaven for you today.

 

Fall Fun

I LOVE FALL!

By far my favorite season of the year.  Summer winds down from it's hot crazy mess and the cool nights, cooler mornings and amazing colors that last at least a month down here are a sight for color starved eyes.

With it comes all the extra school fun - fall festival, our first season of soccer (so much fun!), Halloween-which I am not a particular fan of but I know it's a special time for the kids, and finally the lead up to preps for the holidays.

I wish I had about 24 hours a day extra this time of year.  I have so many good intentions and ideas, with about 1/4 the time to actually act upon them.  But I've learned that I'm better off living each day as it's best than trying to worry I won't get it all done (looooong way I've come right there people).

So rather than try and blog about all the amazing days we've recently had, I'll let pictures speak a thousand words.  And...if I get the video uploaded, you can enjoy a rendition of "Great Big God" performed by ALL the Briarwood Kindergarten Classes.  OM Gosh they were cuuuuute.

Life is Good.

Where I Come From

Well, last night on facebook during the Republican National Convention things got quite busy with passionate people posting their positions and feelings about the upcoming election.  And against my normal "reserved for small audiences" only typical involvement, I was part of it.

And so, after being up at 4:45am and getting home at 6:30pm, I should have known better and kept quiet, because at 11pm I was still awake turning over and over in my head the evening's back and forth and thinking very hard about what I believe is right for this county and why I believe it and how I could have better explained my heart.  Well, here goes.

The same way many felt as if they had finally been heard when the country was told "Hope and Change" would heal us, I feel it when I hear "Believe in America".  I do and always have. 

I believe that the backbone of this country are the people that get up everyday and work hard no matter what the day brings.  I believe that it's not how long you work at your job that should determine your pay and the ability to keep it, but your work ethic and results. 

I believe it is our personal responsiblity to help the community we live in, whether it be through support of our church, volunteering personally or monetarily, but helping in whatever way we can. 

I believe that those who feel they are "entitled" to receive something, need to earn it first.

I believe that if you speak eloquently it means you had a good speech teacher in high school or college who taught you how to put thoughts together and explain them well but that doesn't mean you can actually perform them.  That is proven by results.

I trust more in a person's future ability to succeed in something when that something is not only their passion but what they have proven by past performance. 

Insert here everything that Condoleeza Rice said in her speech last night.

I believe this country has fallen off track morally. 

I believe that change happens through relationship, not ritual and that everything I really need in order to lead my life honorably is found in a book that is 1,949 pages long - at least my copy.  It provides me strength, solace, direction and purpose.  I study it first thing every morning and have read it in full once already and likely will again several times in my lifetime.

I believe in integrity not the idea of it.  I have fallen from it in the past, I am not perfect.  But I have freely and openly admitted it to those affected and have used it to help others heal from my experience.

I believe our grandparents understood what it meant to live by principle and act upon it and that we should follow their example instead of complaining about our circumstances.

I want my children to grow up to understand that winning a game means you have to put forth your best effort to score, not just participate.

I belive it is a parent's responsibility to raise their children in a manner that glorifies God and gives back to this earth.  I do not place blame on anyone other than myself and my husband if they do not meet that expectation as adults.

I believe there should be consequences for actions.  Which means if we spend too much money one month, we must cut back the next.  If I hurt someone, I need to apologize and make it right. That will mean sacrifice.  And I believe the principle should be extended beyond my household and that I will have to participate in it in order for the greater good to succeed.

I believe part of my duty as an American is to help others. But that does not mean I should have to carry their burden if they do nothing to help themselves.

I believe that people in authority should be respected regardless if I personally agree with their position.  I may question it and disagree with it, but I will respect the position they hold and express my opinion and exert my rights when the time is appropriate.

I believe in action, not words.  Once you say you will do something, do it and if you find you cannot, it's ok, you aren't perfect because only one person that ever walked on this earth was and it wasn't you.  But that's not where you should leave it.  Admit your failure or short coming, ask for help and be prepared to accept and answer that isn't yours.

I believe we are entitled only to one thing in life, our opinion, the rest is either a gift or a choice. 

I believe you should own your words, not just speak them.


These are mine.

On the Way Through Decade IV

Yep, I officially stepped past 40 with my first year in my pocket. My sweet husband reminded me the next "big one" is 50. Thank ya very much! But then he said, "Think of all we've done since 30!? Weve got a great time ahead."

And you know what? He's right! (I didn't just marry him for his looks after all :))

Just before and during our 30's...
...we celebrated our 7th anniversary
...we'd built our first home together
...we were settled with a great company and great careers
...we hit a bump and came out stronger (All the Glory!)
...we decided to alter the complete course of our lives and try for a family
...we got lucky and were blessed with our first child
...we built our second home together
...we got surprised (6 months after #1 arrived) and were gifted by a second
...we grew in our love and companionship more than we could have dreamed

And to think, we've got 10 years ahead to beat that.  Plus I have this to keep me young...

GAME ON!

Serenity (for today)

Maybe it's Jack's first year at his forever school coming to a close.

Maybe it's my favorite month (but busiest month) 1/2 done.

Maybe it's having a vision financially of where we are headed and being in that place for the first time since the kids were born.

Maybe it's Duke being on green the WHOLE day, after nearly four months of "I was on yellow, and just a little on red..."

Maybe it's having this view (insert imagined pic here of amazing view of the lake while sitting on the new bench - sorry haven't figured out this feature on my iPad yet!) as I type this tonite.

Or maybe, just maybe it's all of the above and more.

Whatever it is, I'm starting to feel more grounded again. I know I haven't felt this since last August. I am sure of it. Things have been great, don't get me wrong, we have had so many blessings it has been beyond my imagination, but mentally something seems to have spun out of control about that time last year and I've made half hearted attempts to grab it again and only have it fleet away. It's nice to feel my arms wrapped around it tight.

Wonder how long it'll stay.

I Hearby Vow

Seriously, this was the outlet, the method to my madness.  My ability to escape through words from my far too busy, 4:30am to 10pm-ish life.  And I have neglected it far too much in the past year.

So, beginning yet this week I shall commit to one thing for myself that doesn't involve making certain my 5 year old can say his memory verse without fail in front of his teacher, cooking at least 4 meals a week where we actually sit together and partake of it, having the newly done laundry folded at least within 24 hours of it coming out of the dryer, planning out our weekly grocery shopping trip (trust me, this couponing thing can be a burden) and the other myriad of other things that consume me each day that drain the living spirit from my bones.  Perhaps I will then hear more often the words dearest to my heart these days. 

"Mommy!  Look!  I did it all by myself!"

Unplugged in my life sometimes means the opposite it does for most. 

Go my children, and become.  Mommy has some becoming to do as well.

Stayed tuned.  (And if you don't see something in the next 5 days, better text me.  I may have forgotten this moment of self indulgence already).

Up For Air

Exhale.  Big Exhale.

The past two months have been a whirlwind.  April and May are always really busy in our lives.  It's the start of the spring/summer and the weather is amazing.  Cory usually has a bit of a travel break with work so we can work in our annual vacation and it's always the special time Dad visits for his annual trip for the Birmingham Botanical Garden Plant Sale where we brace the crowds and find great deals for my gardening habit.

This year we got the bonus visit from Aunt Clare - which was so awesome, for both of us.  She well deserved a weekend away and I loved having her here for the first time in 5 years to see our home and life since the kids were born.  And the bonus, some much needed sister time and SHOPPING!

We also squeezed in a visit with the Eades on a quick trip to Jekyll Island for our vacation.  The boys were all about the "swamp trees" and although the pool's heater was turned off for the year so it was a bit chilly to brave, the hot tub proved a favorite spot as did Summer Waves water park.  It was so wonderful to see the Eades home and get to visit with all of them.  And downtown Brunswick reminded me of the unique old homes of my hometown minus the swamp trees.

In between we had April 27th...forever changing the face of the state of Alabama and honestly, although I want to devote a post in itself to that day/night, I just haven't been ready.  I spent most of the rest of that week in a fog and I think I had a glimpse of what people experience with PTSD.  Now, I am not so selfish as to expect sympathy for myself given that our lives did not change one red cent with the storms and in fact my memories of our personal situation that night are quite hilarious, which is what my post will likely be when I do write it.  However, I could not tear myself away from the constant local media coverage, which is still a regular mainstay of the daily news, as it should be.  As a result, I spent a lot of time living in the "what if" scenario that is so dangerous.  To hide from my thoughts, I buried myself in work and the school annual Teacher Appreciation event and Cory graciously picked up the slack in handling the majority of the household / cooking / kid taking care of jobs.  I really spent a lot of that time in a fog, I could not get motivated as much as I usually am and found myself taking a lot of respite time to just sit back and consider life.  I have never been more thankful for the moments I have - including the last two days at home with the kids treating pinkeye and the stomach bug the boys have had- thank you Reckitt-Benckiser- and Cory has probably never been more thankful for me to get my butt in gear and get back to "normal". 

And this past Sunday we celebrated with our 4th Annual Summer Kickoff Memorial Day Party.  Again it was so wonderful to have our friends join us at our place for swimming, visiting, food and fun.  We had the most incredible weather this year, 90's no humidity, perfect to get wet and the lake was up to the task the water warming up steadily throughout the month.  And our best friends, Adam and Crystal Schober brought it up a notch, hooking us up with an awesome water slide that the kids really enjoyed.  We had new friends and old friends join us, a few regulars that sadly couldn't make it, but once again, great memories were made.  Including Jack telling everyone that we were having the party to honor the soldiers who are protecting our toys and land from "Amwar Al-Malaki" who is a bad guy and doesn't have God in his heart.  I've already told Cory - no more Fox News when the kids are within earshot.

No story is better shared than with pictures.  So here's the annual slide show.  If you missed it, put it on the calendar next year because it's a given we'll be here.  And if you made it - thanks for coming, we are so glad you did!



and if you are wondering about that day after the party...I'm still in denial.

Seeing Me

This year I have spent quite a bit of time reaching inside to figure out who I really am.  Whoa, deep, I know.
I think it's because I am very quickly approaching another decade, or it could be that I have been playing so many different roles in life right now that I am searching for significance among them.   I also have begun to see others around me that I find myself defining based on the significant roles in their lives.

I think everyone probably goes through stages where one or two roles supercede most others, but for me, I'm really attempting to nail down the one or two that define me in the view of others, the particular traits that when my name is mentioned are what my friends and family think of first, because I feel that by growing that particular role in my life, I can contribute more significantly to this world than I can if I try to perfect say 10 things and do each of them "fairly well", instead of  INCREDIBLY well.

I will admit that in this past year, I have thought that way about several people I've met.  Not so much narrowly defining them or compartmentalizing them - although as I write this it probably sounds like I am, but more that when they come across my mind, it's what I first associate with them as impressive and passionate in their lives.  For example, there are some women I know who are incredibly fashionable and can pick out clothes and always look amazing, I do not have this ability but I know that if I needed advice in that area, they'd be the first person I'd call; some women have a gift for cooking - if I am in a rut with meals, I can call her and I know it would be easy for her to throw out a months worth of ideas; some women are incredibly patient parents, when I'm on my last nerve, I can call them and get a boost of confidence that I'm not screwing things up.  I guess that could be different for anyone's experience with another person and so I probably need an example to illustrate, but I also don't want to offend anyone in the process.

My question here - what am I about to others?  How do others SEE me?  If I could do something that I'm doing now in a much improved way or really focus on a skill, what is it that I would most likely succeed above and beyond anyone else trying to do that same thing?

I know I have special talents, what I really want to know is what special talents do others view in me?  I think if I focus on those, that I might have a shot at taking my life, my family, my marriage, my career, to the next level. 

So, my 11 followers, and anyone else that happens upon this post that knows me, well or not.  Please share, don't be afraid, be honest.  I promise that I will not be offended in any way.  I'm not looking for a boost of confidence, I'm looking to GROW, and I'm stuck in moving forward without help.  I'm asking for it here, and I'm desperately searching to see me. 

All you have to do is click on the little "comments" link below this post, type in your comment and complete the word verification - really it's not that hard.  And it could change my life (and yours) for the better!

4 My New Favorite Number

Blogs, what are they for if not to chronicle the life and times of oneself.  An electronic diary of sorts.

Today I accomplished a personal best and therefore I will share.

4 miles in 40.16 minutes

That's right, when the distance meter on the treadmill ran over from 3.9 to 4.0, the time countdown (which started at 45 min.) read 4:44.

One of Two Accomplished, but Sort of Wish It Had Been the Other

Resolutions, what are they really other than goals we set for ourselves that we have about a 50% chance to succeed at, if that, because once February hits we usually are on to some other distraction. 

Last year I set two for myself, and accomplished one of them, although I dearly wish I had been as diligent about the other since I am on the upper end of the place I started at last year!  Needless to say, that goal is still on the list for 2010.  One big step toward it for me is I did actually join a fitness club again in December and logged 17 miles for the last three weeks in December and a couple already for January, so perhaps my shot at hitting the target is a step ahead of where I was last year. 

I've been struggling with what other personal goals (resolution is such a self defeating word in my opinion), to set for 2010.  There are several areas of my life I'd like to improve upon, NEED to be improved upon.

I've blogged on it before, we are blessed with an amazing church and pastor, and once again he blasted the start of 2010 with exactly the message I needed to hear.  You can download the podcast, video or audio, or watch on the website. 

It's all about The Rule of Five, 5 activities I will do every day that will improve my life.  They don't have to take up all of my day, just something I do every day to raise my level of personal discipline.  (God knows I'm handing the discipline right and left out of this house these days, but very little of it am I forcing upon myself!)  It's about the process, not the result, get the process in my life every day and the results will naturally follow - and I agree on that point whole heartedly.

So, I have 3 of my 5 determined so far and am still searching deep for the other 2.  Feel free to share what you would have for your five, maybe it will inspire me to find my other 2!

The Publix Post

My most dedicated friends know I am a power shopper when it comes to Publix. A year ago at our women's conference at Church of the Highlands I sat in on a session about how you win at the coupon game, and it changed my life. I'm serious.

I have always been frugal, ok maybe even to the point of utterly indecisive, when it comes to spending money. Don't get me wrong, I can drop a dime or two when in the mood. But I will also wear a pair of jeans for 5 years, until there are holes in the butt and my underwear show through (would have been nice if someone had tipped me off on that one when it first happened, there is no telling how long I walked around with my arse peeking out at everyone!) rather than spend the $15 a year it would have cost me to replace said favorite jeans - which I just did, see facebook post from a month ago.

However, those 45 minutes of learning the tips and tricks to saving money - saved my sanity! And a nice wad of cash every month too. I have dropped our monthly household spending amount on grocery, cleaning supplies, diapers, wipes, beauty needs, etc. a minimum of $300. All by shopping at Publix, and doing it the right way. And bonus - HAVE NOT BEEN TO A WALMART IN 6 MONTHS!

That's right. Of course, I am a little bummed I don't get to gawk at the interesting clientele at the local supercenter, however I know I can always get my fix at the evermore popular People of Walmart, when I need a good OMG! Are you seriously out in public in that and in the BABY AISLE?!?!

The thing about Publix, it's not just the savings, it's also the fact the baggers always ask me if I want them to take my groceries (including the 2 very active children in the cart) to my car for me and if I need help any time I look remotely confused or lost or am in search of an item that should absolutely be right in front of me. It's the fact it reminds me of Willie's Sentry in Racine, WI where we shopped when I was a kid and every employee new me, my sisters and my mom by first name.

So I figured I would finally post an example of just one weekend trip to Publix and show you what I'm really talking about when it comes to savings. I so wish they would open a store up north so my sisters could take advantage of all the deals they offer. Buy 1 Get 1 Free (on stuff you actually use and which you only have to buy 1 of to get the special price), Doubled Manufacturer Coupons up to .50 - that means $1!, use of competitor store coupons (in addition to any mfg coupons and including the $5 off $50 grocery purchase coupons that Target often sends out or you get at the Target register), plus their own store coupons - and hey, if you have a mfg coupon, a competitor store coupon and a Publix coupon for the same item - JACKPOT - you can use all three on that one item!

The whole process has catered to my competitive edge at getting the most for my buck. I stock up on what we buy when it's on sale and I rarely if ever spend more than $100-125 a week now on what we need to run our house and feed our family, which I consider pretty darn good considering I still have one in diapers and the other one is still going through a Pull Up each day and I do about 6 loads of laundry a week.

Here's what I bought:

Gallon of Milk
Baguette of French Bread
Bag of Romaine lettuce
3 Tombstone frozen pizzas
2 pkgs of Pillsbury Savorings Artichoke & Cheese App Bites
Gorton's Fishsticks
2 bottles of ALL Small & Mighty (50 loads)
3 Sixpacks of Mott's Applesauce Cups
5 lbs of Idaho Potatoes
Starbuck Coffe (10oz)
2 cans Pringles (Mega Pack)
4 cans Chef Boy R D Ravioli/Beefaroni
Spice Islands Crushed Rosemary
Excedrin Back & Body (I'm getting old!)
2 cans of Planters Mixed Nuts (Chex Mix Season coming!)
4 boxes of Quaker Chewy Granola Bars
40 ct Pullups ($15.99)
132 ct Huggies ($33.99)

Total Bill before coupons/savings: $166.94
Vendor & Store coupons: $31.40
Store Ad Savings: $42.89
Total Saved: $74.29
Paid: $92.65

You may not consider this great, I didn't have any meat on the list (because I had just stocked up on chicken breasts at 1.99/lb and we have venison burger in the freezer already) and don't have a lot of staples, since I have the pantry pretty built but wanted some fun things as the holidays are coming and we will be home this year. Just consider Pullups and Huggies alone would have cost me $50, so all and all it was a pretty good day. (I got the ALL for .99 a bottle after using a Publix $1.00 off and a Mfg $1.00 off when they were on sale at $2.99 each...when's the last time you could do that?!)

I have also learned a great deal and find excellent tips and links on a website I visit a couple of times weekly Southern Savers. Jenny posts each Wednesday the specials at Publix (she also does Kroger, Harris Teeter, Harvey's, Walgreen's, CVS) and even on Sundays will post the Penny Item so I can check it to see if it's worth getting the last $10 of specials that week. (Publix offers a mystery item on Sundays and Mondays at their stores - buy $10 in groceries and get the mystery item for a penny, and it's usually a good item - this week it was a 4 roll pack of toilet paper - who doesn't need toilet paper for goodness sakes! I usually hold back on buying about $10 worth of products during my regular trip that I need but don't have a chance to have a coupon against (think meat on sale, milk, eggs, etc.) so if the mystery item is worth it, I have $10 worth to buy and can get it without buying junk I wouldn't need. Plus she pre-posts the weekend Sunday coupon inserts on Fridays, so I can check out quickly if anything on my list for Saturday I might want to hold off picking up until Sunday/Monday with the penny item since I would have a coupon to use toward it from the Sunday paper.

Finally I have a few vendor sites that I have subscribed to (and have a separate email address for to receive all the emails) such as Betty Crocker, Kraft, General Mills, Conagra, Pillsbury (some of these are redundant since they are owned by the same company but if you sign up for their brand newsletters you get multiple prints of coupons - really handy for B1G1 free items when you want to stock up) which Jenny also links to, but that I have signed up for to get their regular monthly coupons. Oh! And don't forget Upromise - great site for ecoupons if you shop at Publix, Winn Dixie or CVS - am sure there are more stores- which you can earn $$'s toward an investment plan for college for you kids - and if you join be sure and reference me so I can get some extra savings from it!

So for all of you wondering, how to do it? Sunday coupons, vendor internet coupons, Southern Savers, competitor direct mailers and Publix. Put em together, spend about a total of an hour a week at different times, and you feel a little less guilty about indulging once in a while on that Starbucks Grande No Foam Skinny Vanilla Latte.

"Heaven", Ok - Maybe just "Heav..."

In my past life I used to spend HOURS in the corner garden tub I specifically built into the plans of our former home. I would light 25 candles, pour a glass of wine, fill up a steaming bath with whatever the latest potions I had on hand, grab the latest Smithsonian (hey - I like reading about history and art!) and sink into oblivion. My favorite time of the year for this ritual was the fall or early spring, when I could open the windows and let the coolness of the night air fill the room while I was neck high in steam and water.

When we built our new place just before Jack was born, the "temporary" residence, like a carriage house, that we would live in while the kids were small and convert to a place family from out of town can stay when they visit, I had to compromise on a few things to keep costs relatively reasonable. One of those was a garden tub. Instead we opted for a couple of showers and just one standard, actually low sided, bathtub we could bathe the kids in.

So for the past 3 years, other than a few times when I was pregnant with Duke and absolutely needed the relief of bouyancy (which in a low sided tub didn't work too well since my belly nearly stuck all the way out of the water!) I haven't had the luxury of my past life. Not that my current schedule would have allowed it anyway, but trust me, there have been nights I wouldn't have cared that it would be as late as 9pm to have such a treat. It's basically bedtime at that point anyway and a good soak would have been great.

But this Sunday, I decided enough was enough, I was just going to suffer the low tub and take a good soak. And it was HEAVEN. For 45 minutes, while the kids watched Cars in the living room with Cory, I turned on the bathroom fan, turned off the lights, lit some candles, filled a glass, grabbed a magazine (Parents this time, ah well....current events at least, right?!) and ahhhhhh...into the scent of Huggies Lavendar Baby Wash I descended.

Not quite the same atmosphere with the "accessories" but it'll do for now.

God Knew

Whenever I share the story of how Cory and I started a family I get interesting comments, but mostly I think people wonder why we waited so long and then jumped in so fast. Not that I don't wonder it myself, but truly (as most of you know) we hadn't quite planned to jump in as fast as we did. Jack - well planned, much stressed over (WHEN?!!?) Duke - excuse me, WHAT is that second line doing there?!?!

Of course, I absolutely wouldn't want it any other way. I could not imagine my life without both of my little men, and never want to. But today, with another sick kid day - this time Jack - I got a small glimpse of what some of my friends have in their lives with just one child - or children that are a bit more spaced apart than mine are.

I decided early in the day I wouldn't stress myself about trying to get actual work done from home. I had a few things I needed to do, and did, but with Cory gone until Sunday, I knew I absolutely would not get anything done around the house tomrrow and so I thought I'd take the day and just get the house in order which was desperately needed (since it is not something I usually have time to do unless it's after 8:30 at night or Cory's got both boys out of the house and occupied for several hours which is also not a regular opportunity for us with his schedule.) So, after getting Duke to daycare, Jack and I came home and I went about the task.

And what I learned very quickly is that I can get a whole lot done without being interrupted, even with a 3 year old around, but add a 2 year old and forget it. This made me a little jealous, oh how nice it would be to have more than 2 seconds to breathe for anything. I can't imagine living a life with regular downtime. Everyone says, after the first year, it gets much easier - but honestly, this year - the second, was harder for me than the first. Naps are ending or greatly reduced, bedtimes are stretching longer, personalities are getting stronger...and I'm not getting any younger.


But after a little reflection, and upon returning home after picking up Duke and getting back home to attempt at making a meal and wrangling the two of them up for bathtime and bed I realized yet again.

God knew.

And he shows me each day in some little way how lucky I am and that's what keeps me going. I may be exhausted, but I'm happy!

The List

It is never ending, but I have managed the following this week:

• Have the kids back on a schedule of some sort, at least one that does not involve an all out screaming fit of "I don't want to brush my teeth!" prior to bedtime that escalates into an hour and a half wrestling match into a crib.
• Posted nearly all of the infant/baby items that we no longer need and want to sell on Craig's List - with pics that I took a month ago!
• Uninstalled (after multiple failed attempts) a corrupt Quicktime application on Cory's laptop, reinstalled iTunes and connected and sync'd his new iPhone.
• Logged into facebook and actually connected with some friends instead of just checking the live feed off my phone app.
• Avoided my own meltdown at the office due to having 4 colleagues out on vacation this week and wanting to strangle a few that were left behind.
• Shipped two book requests from paperbackswap.com and am considering just what 4 I want to request free for my credits.
• Restored my home to near normal cleanliness after visitors departed this weekend (we miss you already!)
• Donated our 3 bags of gently worn clothes to Hannah Home (after the 6 months they have been residing in our garage).
• Bought $116 worth of this week's groceries for only $70 - I LOVE PUBLIX!
• Saw an allergist and actually will stop ignoring and start treatment for the annoying nasal allergies I have been suffering from for the past 10 years.
• Setup a sitter for two adult only nights out in August.
• Played a game of indoor baseball "Mommy, it's YOUR turn!" with the boys (all 3 of them).
• Sharpened both ends of all their crayons to make it a no brainer choosing which end will color best (all while keeping Duke from chewing on every one he could get his hands on).
• Posted to this blog.
• Found a shrieking 19mo old's paci in the near pitch dark of his room after staring at computer screens for the past 3 hours and silenced him seconds later (I know, I know...it's just as much my habit as his!)

Not bad, considering it's only Tuesday.

Ending the guilt

Has it been a month? Really?

Yes I know fully well how long it's been since I've posted because every night as I laid my head down on my pillow I'd think of the post I meant to write and now I have something like 26 that I want to do. Such as the awesome time I had in Racine with old friends (ahem, as in from a long time ago, not aged!), the break I had from 24/7 Mommy in Orlando last week (even if it revolved around work), the amazing community service event I participated in with my church in downtown Birmingham and just the multitude of craziness that has overtaken our summer. Well they will get here somehow, but for now I'm just playing with my new iPhone and discovering I can now blog on the go.

This could get fun.

Compartmentalizing

Why do I do this?

I think my brain is wired to be an apothecary table - think episode of Friends - The One where Rachel REALLY wanted such a dresser of many drawers from Pottery Barn but had to lie to Phoebe about buying at an antique shop because Phoebe was absolutely against buying anything at Pottery Barn?

I have all these little drawers in my little mind and each one holds an idea, task, need, desire, addiction, project, purpose, hope, dream....and on and on and on.

I open up one, get really involved in it, tweak it, get it almost finished and ready to remove from said drawer and then sadly, I must close it and open another because there are something around 63 other drawers that are staring at me in the face still closed that I need to get back to (or started).

When exactly do you get to the point of just opening a drawer, working on the contents to completion and then closing it, empty but feeling satisfied that you do not need to fill it with yet something else.

Just curious. Does that ever really happen?

Can't Get Any Better Than This

I am sitting in my room with LOST on the tube, listening to Jack's second night without paci and the latest rendition of "I need my Maaahhmmeee" coming over the monitor. Ohhh...new line just hollered, "I wanna get down!", tonite might get even more interesting which I truly didn't think would be possible after the past 36 hours, especially considering what happened at bath tonite.

That's right, life in my house has gone to a new level.

For those of you in the know, you are aware our blessed baby, actually I guess he is technically a toddler now at 16 mos, Duke, is a tub pooper. I guess you could call it occaissional, but on that little trick anything more than once a year in my opinion is a trend. My friend Lara at the office has reminded me several times that you aren't truly a parent until you've chased poop around the tub with your bare hands, well, let me say I've done it, more than once, verging on often, usually while Cory is out of town.

Back to tonite. And please excuse the following three details, but they are significant to the overall story...it was nearing time for bath, both kids had just pooped but had not yet been changed and when Duke poops, it's usually in tandem - one, and about 5 minutes later, the second show.

So, as we are watching Word World both darlings do their daily business, and honestly I feel like it's perfect timing since it's clean them up and put them to bed next. So, Duke goes first and like his usual self, second show is just about ready to begin. And what better opportunity for him to do it right there on the potty. He's too young to potty train of course, but when things are right there and set-up for his brother, may as well skip the step of dumping it from the diaper and having him put it right there on his own. Which he does, so clean up his bum and into the tub.

Now it's Jack's turn, but we have to start with brushing teeth, then washing hands, and next, changing pullup. Great, perfect, clean the bum and socks off and then ... crap ... literally, in the tub, again. Guess Duke decided tonite he'd perform the Triple Lindy. Fabulous. Really. But stick with me, it gets WAY better. And best you start the visual imaging from here, 'cause I promise it gets really good.

Jack, still in his t-shirt and socks but pantless, is told to seat himself on the step stool by the sink while I simultaneously grab Duke around the chest and catch the last of the poop coming out of his butt with my other hand. That gets tossed in the toilet and Duke gets laid on the towel on the floor, butt wiped and hands and feet and anything else that was touching water that had poop floating in it quickly scanned and wiped down. Remaining poop, and poop tub toys, thrown in the toilet and sink and water drained while I grab the bottle of Spray Bleach from under the sink and quickly spray everything down. Jack, thankfully, is still sitting quietly on the stool watching all of this when I realize there is a spot of poop on the towel Duke is laying on. So up he goes, naked to sit on the 2nd stool next to Jack. I am about finished wiping down the tub enough to be able to put the kids back in it, when I see the 4th quarter come out of Duke, onto the stool, and his hands, and his foot and the rug and the floor and onto Jack who decides this is a good time to hold hands with his brother Duke.

Don't laugh, it could have been you, on 4 hours sleep from the night before, with poop everywhere. But wait, there's more.

Duke gets set back on the potty, at least that way he can safely go into overtime if necessary. Jack is told to stand up and wash his hands in the sink, by a mother that has completely forgotten that's where the poop tub toys are and which he begins playing with instead of washing his hands. Duke is wiggling on the toilet, I get Jack's hands clean and turn around to see the dog licking the poop off the rug and floor.

Yep, it's just doesn't get any better than this. I guess in some way, this is my payback for laying on a beach for 6 hours on Friday. Either way, those 6 hours kept me from losing my mind tonite. Instead I am still laughing about it.

I have to, it's an hour since I started this post and although the "I wanna get down" cries are staggered occaissionally by 30 seconds of silence, they are still echoing through the damn monitor. Wait, here's a new one, and no doubt he's defnitely working it now "I need tee tee potty!"

Looks like another glass of wine for me tonite. Did I mention Cory gets back on Friday?

For Those Wondering

I've talked and facebooked with some of you on the results of the dental visit, but in a nutshell here's where things stand.

His two top front teeth did show trauma, whatever that means. You can see on the back side of the teeth at the gumline where they were pulled away from the gum a bit. The dentist, who I genuinely liked, did not take xrays yet because at first glance he could see they were loose and painful. So we go back in 2 weeks for those. Right now he said soft foods for 2 weeks and a couple things could happen.

They could be fine.

They could abcess, in a week, in a month, in a year and need to be pulled.

They could turn gray.

They could be fractured at the root and need pulled.

So, basically that's all we know. He had a rough time at dinner, spoon caused pain when he was eating some yogurt, then didn't want any pasta. Straw cup doesn't work well unless he remembers to put it to the side of his mouth.

We'll see how today goes. Just hoping for the first option above to happen.

Regardless, the paci was a no brainer. I was not going to take a chance at making things worse by giving it to him. Especially since it eventually has to go away anyway. Nothing like being forced into that decision :(

So, that being said, last night did not go what I would categorize as a good first night without the paci.

At 10:30 after 2+ hours of him crying and me in and out of his room to calm him down I finally gave in and rubbed his back until he fell asleep (took less than 3 minutes, he was so exhausted).

He was up again at 1:30am for 30 minutes and again at 4:30am for an hour. I am not heartless and just letting him "cry" for those of you that think that is heartless, but am trying to console him without creating more of a mess and substituting myself for his not having a paci.

Not once in the night did he ask for his paci by name. I thought that was interesting.

I prepped him at bathtime about the paci by telling him I heard he took his nap without a paci, to which he replied "yep" and then said that the Paci Fairy had come to take his other paci's and give them to the baby geese (we see a lot of those this time of year). And that George, a friendly monkey (we were given a Curious George stuffed doll and book at Christmas by my cousin Jill and I had squandered it away for a later day) had come to say thank you and stay with him instead.

We read books with George which he thought was especially cool and had our usual bedtime, then the long night began.

Intead the crying started as "I go by Mommy (pronounced mahhhhmeeee)" which moved to "I want Mommy!" then onto "I need Mommy!" and occaisional substitution of Mommy with "taggie" (his blanket) when he chucked that out of the bed hoping I'd come in to retrieve it for him (he gets 1 chance at it and knows if a 2nd time happens it's gone) and/or "water" which he did not get.

He has just fallen back asleep (which I will have to get him up for school in an hour) and will no doubt be exhausted today, as I can guarantee I will be as well, only to have to likely repeat this joyous experience again tonite.

So, that's the night in a nutshell. I knew this day would eventually come, though I had hoped he would be a more cooperative part of the process by giving the paci up on his own, instead of being forced to do so because of this injury. And I'm not certain I want to answer a bunch of phone calls and emails about the experience yet, so don't be suprised if this is the only mention from me today.

I'd really rather not relive it until I have to, which I expect will begin about 14 hours from now.

I do want to thank many of you for the emails and fb comments of support. I do appreciate it!

Paci Goes Bye Bye...

Just got a call from daycare. Jack took a tumble on the playground and knocked his front teeth on the concrete. One is loose and bleeding at the gumline slightly. I called a pediatric dentist and we have an appointment at 3pm. Since nap time is post haste, I am keeping him there for nap and will pick him up after for the appointment. However, instructions given - no paci at naptime. Can't risk it causing further problems.

Looks like we'll be going cold turkey on it tonite. No time like the present.

Stay tuned.

I think I will have plenty of time to post on this past weekend's trip to the beach too, I'd imagine I will be awake a few extra hours over the next few nights.

Wish me luck (Daddy got revenge, he's in Kentucky until Friday night!)