Admit it, we all do it, tag our children with personality traits before they are even old enough to have personality traits.
Jack - clean, structured, precise, needy, helpful, tender hearted, wants to please, momma's boy; the serious one.
Duke - messy, if there is something that can get on him, it does, full out all the time, loud, big loving, daredevil, no fear; the funny one.
Duke wins tonite.
It's not a suprise to those that know us well, we discipline our children. We aren't perfect parents but we believe in a parenting path which involves more than time-out. I promise we aren't some crazed, strict mom and dad whose kids will show up on Maury Povich (is he still on?) 15 years from now telling their story of spending hours in a closet with no food, no water, no light for a week. We just believe that in order to change certain behaviors at this age, it can require more than discussion.
We probably started this parenting path a little late with Jack, but at this point, the times we need to visit Mommy and Daddy's room are pretty few and far between. He understands what the limits are, and really as much of a straight and narrow kid as he is naturally, grace is used successfully much more often. Except when he decides he's big enough to go to the lake on his own - then the wooden spoon reappears for a brief moment (understandably, what's worse, a pop on the bottom or him drowning?).
Duke benefitted from Jack's learning curve. Essentially he was trained in the early years that if you didn't listen to Mommy and Daddy there were consequences. So by default, he usually follows the path of the straight and narrow within one warning. "Duke, we don't ... or you will get a pop on the bottom." 'nuff said. But there is one small behavior we are working on, which brings me to tonight.
I have boys, I realize this and I give a lot of room for consideration. I do not expect them to sit at a table and color for an hour undisturbed. They are active. They need to exert their energy. No problem here. But, I have my limits. Spitting is one of them. And it seems to be one of Duke's weaknesses.
In the past two weeks I've had two drives home (mind you that means 45 minutes) in which I have spent 42.10 of those minutes explaining that we "DO NOT SPIT". It doesn't help that his brother thinks it's hilarious when he does it and all but eggs him on in his comedy show. Well tonight I calmly explained when we got home, it meant Duke would need to go to Mommy's room when we arrived. They both know what this means, which brought about an entirely new discussion of how many pops on the bottom would be required (Side note - we pop 1 time and 1 time only for an infraction, that's it, the rest is their vivid imaginations at work. Some parents discipline in other ways, this is ours.).
"Duke, how many pops will you get?"
"Two"
"No, you are going to get five."
"No, I don't want five, six!"
etc. I actually heard Duke say, "I get Two Five pops!" at one point. I'm now firmly convinced he hasn't counted past ten in preschool.
We arrived, and off to Mommy's room he went. He knew, didn't run off, moaned about it on the way, but knew he deserved what was coming. I just wasn't prepared.
Up to this point, when it's time for Duke to receive the consequences for undesired action he's been fairly accepting of the punishment, usually getting down from the chair he's sitting in during the discussion of what he'd done wrong, to turn around and accept his "pop". Tonight I had a moment in which I had to control myself...not for anger - come on, they are my kids! But from falling on the floor laughing.
The child walked into our room with a book he has grown quite attached to - Going on a Bear Hunt. We've read it several times for bedtime in the past two weeks. I do it with a British accent because at school they have a book on tape they play and the reader is British which makes it even more fun. "W'aahr goin on ah Beahr Hunt, W'aahr goin to catch ah BIG one, W'ahr not scaahd" The board book.
Tonite, when he realized as he sat in the chair and I talked with him about his behavior in the car and how he disobeyed me (multiple times) and continued to spit, that he would receive a consequence for that behavior, I noticed he was putting the book under his bottom as he sat in the chair. At first, I thought it strange, but when he pulled it out from under him and said "Pop the book" I could barely keep a straight face. He continued to try and position it down behind him as he stood up. The child isn't even 3!!! I can honestly say that since we instilled this parenting path, nearly 6 months ago, he's been popped maybe 5 times, tops.
So, I'm now convinced of one thing. He's not just The Funny One. He's actually The Smart One too!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
The Space That Created Sanity
As promised, here is a short video walk through of the new playroom and loft bedroom that Cory built for the boys while we were gone over the 4th. (I apologize for the backround noise - that's the tower fan, so just mute your volume if it is bothersome)
I had to get the final painting done before they could take it over for their bedroom, but I managed to do that at night last week and now it is completely theirs. First night was Friday and all is going well, other than they are enjoying themselves a little too much based on the giggles and talking coming over the monitor after it's lights out. Kind of gives me the giggles - as long as they aren't getting out of bed, I'm fine with it.
Bonus - Jack now is asking to go to the potty after he's in bed which means a trip up the steps for me around 9pm each night and that has spurned Duke into new interest in doing the same - so maybe we'll get some potty training done while we are at it!
Cory and I have found new energy in reorganizing our house into an actual house instead of a storage solution for all things toy. Yet we are still sitting on the floor weekend nights cuddling with the latest Pixar movie they are hooked on. As you will see from the wall decals - that would be Toy Story - "To Infinity and BEYOND!"
I had to get the final painting done before they could take it over for their bedroom, but I managed to do that at night last week and now it is completely theirs. First night was Friday and all is going well, other than they are enjoying themselves a little too much based on the giggles and talking coming over the monitor after it's lights out. Kind of gives me the giggles - as long as they aren't getting out of bed, I'm fine with it.
Bonus - Jack now is asking to go to the potty after he's in bed which means a trip up the steps for me around 9pm each night and that has spurned Duke into new interest in doing the same - so maybe we'll get some potty training done while we are at it!
Cory and I have found new energy in reorganizing our house into an actual house instead of a storage solution for all things toy. Yet we are still sitting on the floor weekend nights cuddling with the latest Pixar movie they are hooked on. As you will see from the wall decals - that would be Toy Story - "To Infinity and BEYOND!"
I have to give Cory BIG KUDOS! The man worked like a horse to get it done while we were gone and I could not be happier with how it turned out. He really has a gift for design and building.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Another First (and 4th) Down!
The challenge - traveling from Birmingham, AL to Racine, WI via air travel (and if you know Birmingham, it isn't direct to anywhere east of the Mississippi - unless Atlanta, Charlotte, Cincinatti or Baltimore qualify) - ALONE with a 2 1/2 year old and 3 1/2 year old - and not losing my sanity.
I will admit, it left me a few times, but only briefly, overall we held it together, and had a WONDERFUL trip.
Really, the boys were fantastic travelers. The most difficult was explaining to Jack why he had to sit in a seat across the aisle from Duke and me and next to some strange lady (she was VERY nice and from Sheboygan, thankful for that!) - since not only are there no direct flights from Birmingham to Milwaukee, but there are no planes with anything but 2 and 2 on the row. I went into it prepared with new seek & find books as well as bag treats to distract at takeoff. Unfortunately, on the way up we got wrapped into a 30 minute tarmac visit before takeoff in Birmingham which meant a lot of cajoling Jack into staying quiet in his seat. But it worked and from Atlanta to Milwaukee, Toy Story 2 ruled the plane and we made it.
The biggest regret of the long weekend? We didn't have enough time to settle in. I want the boys to be able to experience where I grew up, and yet we only had 4 days to get it in. There will be more visits, but I really wanted this trip to sink into them what kind of fun you can have in "Sconsin" as Jack calls it.
We even got an extraordinary opportunity to visit the other side of the family - we can't seem to get organized enough (or have enough vacation time!) to make a trip to Georgia to see the Eades (Patrick, Natalie, Alyssa, Kevin, Hannah & Victoria) but we managed to connect in Wisconsin and meet up at Aunt Rosie's Subway on Hwy 50 to get in a quick visit. (Jack I will remind you someday of this one!)
From that point on off we were, to the Racine Zoo, on the Racine Trolley, to First Friday celebrations, North Beach, our first movie theater to see Toy Story 3 and the culmination of the weekend - Racine's 4th of July Parade - with plenty of family bonding in between.
If I could re-live it I wouldn't change a thing. I would have loved to have taken them to the fireworks - it was a beautiful evening, one meant for sitting quietly and watching the bright bursts of energy over the water. But my little guys are still little and need their sleep. As Jack often tells me "someday..."
Thank you to Josh & Clare for opening up your home to us, I truly can't thank you enough for letting us walk all over your lives. I enjoyed our quiet evenings together, exhausted as I was by that point each day. And to Caroline and Quinn for sharing all your toys without hesitation. Thank you to Charles and Ali for splitting the pizza so we adults could have what we wanted without compromising for the kids and for showing Jack the toy collection Nolan has amassed. That one is still being commented on by said 3 1/2 year old. I am so glad to have finally been able to hold the newest member of the family - Jonah - what a beautiful boy to add to our collection.
And Mom and Dad, I hope you got another glimpse into the lives of the little men that really make mine special. With each visit I hope I'm putting a little of what you gave me into their hearts.
Love you all and miss you already!
I will admit, it left me a few times, but only briefly, overall we held it together, and had a WONDERFUL trip.
Really, the boys were fantastic travelers. The most difficult was explaining to Jack why he had to sit in a seat across the aisle from Duke and me and next to some strange lady (she was VERY nice and from Sheboygan, thankful for that!) - since not only are there no direct flights from Birmingham to Milwaukee, but there are no planes with anything but 2 and 2 on the row. I went into it prepared with new seek & find books as well as bag treats to distract at takeoff. Unfortunately, on the way up we got wrapped into a 30 minute tarmac visit before takeoff in Birmingham which meant a lot of cajoling Jack into staying quiet in his seat. But it worked and from Atlanta to Milwaukee, Toy Story 2 ruled the plane and we made it.
The biggest regret of the long weekend? We didn't have enough time to settle in. I want the boys to be able to experience where I grew up, and yet we only had 4 days to get it in. There will be more visits, but I really wanted this trip to sink into them what kind of fun you can have in "Sconsin" as Jack calls it.
We even got an extraordinary opportunity to visit the other side of the family - we can't seem to get organized enough (or have enough vacation time!) to make a trip to Georgia to see the Eades (Patrick, Natalie, Alyssa, Kevin, Hannah & Victoria) but we managed to connect in Wisconsin and meet up at Aunt Rosie's Subway on Hwy 50 to get in a quick visit. (Jack I will remind you someday of this one!)
From that point on off we were, to the Racine Zoo, on the Racine Trolley, to First Friday celebrations, North Beach, our first movie theater to see Toy Story 3 and the culmination of the weekend - Racine's 4th of July Parade - with plenty of family bonding in between.
If I could re-live it I wouldn't change a thing. I would have loved to have taken them to the fireworks - it was a beautiful evening, one meant for sitting quietly and watching the bright bursts of energy over the water. But my little guys are still little and need their sleep. As Jack often tells me "someday..."
Thank you to Josh & Clare for opening up your home to us, I truly can't thank you enough for letting us walk all over your lives. I enjoyed our quiet evenings together, exhausted as I was by that point each day. And to Caroline and Quinn for sharing all your toys without hesitation. Thank you to Charles and Ali for splitting the pizza so we adults could have what we wanted without compromising for the kids and for showing Jack the toy collection Nolan has amassed. That one is still being commented on by said 3 1/2 year old. I am so glad to have finally been able to hold the newest member of the family - Jonah - what a beautiful boy to add to our collection.
And Mom and Dad, I hope you got another glimpse into the lives of the little men that really make mine special. With each visit I hope I'm putting a little of what you gave me into their hearts.
Love you all and miss you already!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Congratulations your photo has been selected...
Well friends and family. Just for fun about 2 weeks ago I posted 6 pics to Parents.com for the 2010 Cover Contest of Jack. I told no one (those of you that know me know I like to remain behind the scenes :) I even meant to get Duke some pics posted this weekend but never found the time. Given that there were 85,000+ people posting, I figured it would just be for fun.
Turns out, Jack's got a following (766 votes for him, and I don't even know those people). I got this email today. So at this point, what the heck - how about clicking the link below and Vote for my little guy's photo. I could use a trip to NYC!
Click Vote for Me under his pic and type out the phrase that appears as it instructs...so many steps I hate to ask, but what the heck!
SarahUpdate: Here's a direct link to Jack's pic to vote
http://photos.parents.com/category/vote/photo/355379
----- Forwarded Message ----
From: Parents.com <newsletters@emails.parents.com>
To: sarah.rath@yahoo.com
Sent: Tue, June 22, 2010 11:25:09 AM
Subject: Congratulations your photo has been selected...
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
That Little Thing Called Life
Life, that's what's been happening people. I know you've been checking in daily to find out what the latest excitement has been in our little corner of the world only to be sorely dissapointed to find out that for another day you will have to live in the suspense of not knowing. Well, now you know, it was life that was happening.
That's right, and for once I just put the computer down and lived it. (Well, maybe not down, maybe just didn't type http://www.coryandsarahrath.blogspot.com/ into my browser when it was in my lap.)
Ah but all that has changed, and here I am. And to fill you in, here are just a few highlights of the past 45 days (for your enjoyment and my attempt to update this, my electronic diary of the life of the Rath's).
I ran in a 5K and finished (and not on my hands and knees, although I will have the foresight next time to actually take the inhaler an hour before exercise like my doctor suggested so I can avoid the final 1/3 mile of wheezing from the exhaust of the idling police vehicles designed to help aid the runners in their quest to finish). And I'm happy to report that although due to the rest of the events that follow, I had taken a slight reduction in my training schedule, I have in fact ramped it up again and am working toward consistenly hitting the track for 15 miles per week minimum.
My Dad visited for a long weekend and we planted all my landscape for this year...it's looking mighty lovely now and although we didn't really plan it out to be, we picked the perfect weekend for him to come as it was the Birmingham Botanical Gardens Annual Plant Sale so we got some great specimens at amazing prices. I'm so looking forward to marking that weekend as his annual trip - although since the size of the wine glasses I have vs. the ones Dad is accustomed to are significantly larger I will be sure to be the one pouring the wine when we have the neighbors over for dinner and a visit during next year's trip.
We said goodbye to our very best friend in the whole world - Payton - and her Mommy Leslie, who have moved on to bigger and better things in Gaithersburg, MD. Payton and Jack spent every weekday together at Odyssey Early School since they were just a few months old. Leslie and I have become close friends in that time through many a parenting moment. We miss them terribly, but know we will visit them one day without a doubt. And we are so excited for them to also be bringing a new sister for Payton into the world this fall - maybe a little unexpected excitement given all the other craziness in their lives, but a blessed one nonetheless and one that's been much wanted for a long time.
I was able to attend 3 different meetings with the Children's Hospital Auxiliary Board and continue to stay involved in helping to formulate plans for the future of the hospital volunteer arm as they embark on the upcoming multi million dollar expansion.
Mother's Day - I got sheets.
We finished up our small group semester at church, having taken the Growing Kids God's Way parenting course and boy, did that transition our household. Both Cory and I felt for the first time we both had a plan of action in raising our kids that not only made sense, but that we believed in and that WORKED! We've both adopted a much calmer demeanor in handling trying moments and have honestly, lightened up in how we were managing our day to day lives. Not sure that makes sense, but maybe I can translate that to we've taken the pressure off - of ourselves and thus off our kids. I think we both are such perfectionists in many ways and expect so much of ourselves (and by default of others) that we had to step back and really take a look at the road we could have headed down with our kids. Everything in context, but with the understanding there is one main rule right now in this household - Listen to Mommy & Daddy. And when it works. WOW. Our kids are happier, we are happier, there is less yelling, more listening, and even GASP - obeying without being asked! I know, shock, I'm still kind of in it.
We went on our first family vacation and not to visit family! (No offense to any of you of course, WE LOVE TO VISIT YOU) We spent 4 days and 4 nights in beautiful Destin, Florida at the Sandestin Hilton Resort where we laid on the beach, swam at the pool, ate out a few times and basically did nothing for the entire trip but enjoy the kids having their first experience at "the ocean!" Absolutely the most enjoyable trip we have ever embarked on with the kids. I actually looked over at Cory sometime during Day 2 and asked him who the kids were that were with us, because they weren't the same ones we had at home (see above paragraph, I was still in denial at the time that we actually had turned the corner in our household in the land of behavior) . I absolutely cannot wait to go again, but alas, we may be waiting a while it seems by the looks of the oil spill and how it will affect our sugar sand shores of Alabama and Florida (no further discussion to be had here).
During all of this, I also organized our Teacher Appreciation Week at the boy's daycare. With 50 teachers to honor and about 175 families to coordinate, I had my work cut out for me. It was a lot of work, but I had a great group of parents that stepped up to help and it was worth every bit of extra time and effort to see the reaction of the teachers to their well deserved week of special events. Lots of parents thought I was crazy to undertake such a mission, but that's my spiritual gift - organizing and pulling it all together - and I can't think of a better group of women (and man) to reap the benefit.
My Birthday - as of this posting I have 355 days left.
Finally, we held our 3rd Annual Memorial Day Bash at self named Sterling Creek Ranch. Again this year, storms were part of the party, but we had about 50 people make it out and enjoy a full day of sun, storms, water, food and fun times. Nothing makes us happier than being able to share this place we call home with friends.
So, that was what was happening this last 45 days, just life, and so glad to have lived it.
That's right, and for once I just put the computer down and lived it. (Well, maybe not down, maybe just didn't type http://www.coryandsarahrath.blogspot.com/ into my browser when it was in my lap.)
Ah but all that has changed, and here I am. And to fill you in, here are just a few highlights of the past 45 days (for your enjoyment and my attempt to update this, my electronic diary of the life of the Rath's).
I ran in a 5K and finished (and not on my hands and knees, although I will have the foresight next time to actually take the inhaler an hour before exercise like my doctor suggested so I can avoid the final 1/3 mile of wheezing from the exhaust of the idling police vehicles designed to help aid the runners in their quest to finish). And I'm happy to report that although due to the rest of the events that follow, I had taken a slight reduction in my training schedule, I have in fact ramped it up again and am working toward consistenly hitting the track for 15 miles per week minimum.
My Dad visited for a long weekend and we planted all my landscape for this year...it's looking mighty lovely now and although we didn't really plan it out to be, we picked the perfect weekend for him to come as it was the Birmingham Botanical Gardens Annual Plant Sale so we got some great specimens at amazing prices. I'm so looking forward to marking that weekend as his annual trip - although since the size of the wine glasses I have vs. the ones Dad is accustomed to are significantly larger I will be sure to be the one pouring the wine when we have the neighbors over for dinner and a visit during next year's trip.
We said goodbye to our very best friend in the whole world - Payton - and her Mommy Leslie, who have moved on to bigger and better things in Gaithersburg, MD. Payton and Jack spent every weekday together at Odyssey Early School since they were just a few months old. Leslie and I have become close friends in that time through many a parenting moment. We miss them terribly, but know we will visit them one day without a doubt. And we are so excited for them to also be bringing a new sister for Payton into the world this fall - maybe a little unexpected excitement given all the other craziness in their lives, but a blessed one nonetheless and one that's been much wanted for a long time.
I was able to attend 3 different meetings with the Children's Hospital Auxiliary Board and continue to stay involved in helping to formulate plans for the future of the hospital volunteer arm as they embark on the upcoming multi million dollar expansion.
Mother's Day - I got sheets.
We finished up our small group semester at church, having taken the Growing Kids God's Way parenting course and boy, did that transition our household. Both Cory and I felt for the first time we both had a plan of action in raising our kids that not only made sense, but that we believed in and that WORKED! We've both adopted a much calmer demeanor in handling trying moments and have honestly, lightened up in how we were managing our day to day lives. Not sure that makes sense, but maybe I can translate that to we've taken the pressure off - of ourselves and thus off our kids. I think we both are such perfectionists in many ways and expect so much of ourselves (and by default of others) that we had to step back and really take a look at the road we could have headed down with our kids. Everything in context, but with the understanding there is one main rule right now in this household - Listen to Mommy & Daddy. And when it works. WOW. Our kids are happier, we are happier, there is less yelling, more listening, and even GASP - obeying without being asked! I know, shock, I'm still kind of in it.
We went on our first family vacation and not to visit family! (No offense to any of you of course, WE LOVE TO VISIT YOU) We spent 4 days and 4 nights in beautiful Destin, Florida at the Sandestin Hilton Resort where we laid on the beach, swam at the pool, ate out a few times and basically did nothing for the entire trip but enjoy the kids having their first experience at "the ocean!" Absolutely the most enjoyable trip we have ever embarked on with the kids. I actually looked over at Cory sometime during Day 2 and asked him who the kids were that were with us, because they weren't the same ones we had at home (see above paragraph, I was still in denial at the time that we actually had turned the corner in our household in the land of behavior) . I absolutely cannot wait to go again, but alas, we may be waiting a while it seems by the looks of the oil spill and how it will affect our sugar sand shores of Alabama and Florida (no further discussion to be had here).
During all of this, I also organized our Teacher Appreciation Week at the boy's daycare. With 50 teachers to honor and about 175 families to coordinate, I had my work cut out for me. It was a lot of work, but I had a great group of parents that stepped up to help and it was worth every bit of extra time and effort to see the reaction of the teachers to their well deserved week of special events. Lots of parents thought I was crazy to undertake such a mission, but that's my spiritual gift - organizing and pulling it all together - and I can't think of a better group of women (and man) to reap the benefit.
My Birthday - as of this posting I have 355 days left.
Finally, we held our 3rd Annual Memorial Day Bash at self named Sterling Creek Ranch. Again this year, storms were part of the party, but we had about 50 people make it out and enjoy a full day of sun, storms, water, food and fun times. Nothing makes us happier than being able to share this place we call home with friends.
So, that was what was happening this last 45 days, just life, and so glad to have lived it.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
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