My Rant Answered

He just knows when to show me up.  Tuesday I rant about the difficult life I lead, all self pity and depressive thoughts.  And last night, He shows up with this...

I posted a pic to facebook taken with my iPhone, but it didn't truly capture the unbelievable color of the sky.  Because of the thunderheads in the distance to the west and also to the east there was a shadow that crossed completely over our house.  I should have taken a movie clip of it but by the time I realized what was happening and grabbed my camera it was darkening too quick.

Needless to say - THIS is the reason that even through the rants, I stay.

There Is Only So Much I Can Take

I didn't intend for the next post to be a rant, but it is going to be. 

One of the main reasons that I have not kept up with this blog to be completely and utterly honest, is because I can't. 

No, not I can't because I don't have the time, but no I can't because I have a piece of crap laptop that is 6 years old with a modem that is outdated, we live in the middle of the freaking country where I can't even have the opportunity to have DSL and I just don't have an HOUR to sit and wait for the sites to load that I need to get to using the wireless PC card that is now 5 years old setup through an EVDO wireless router that only gets 2.5% of the 54 max mps speed.

That's what I've been doing for the past 45 minutes until I finally told Cory I was using his laptop to write this post, that's right, not asked, TOLD, since he was the one that we decided needed one more urgently right now.

I guess I feel the need to be a bit bitter, self absorbed and downright openly frustrated at what's been happening in my household when it comes to technology and the ability for me to indulge in purchasing some for myself.  I tend to put off purchasing things that would make my life easier - all of our lives easier, since I'm the one paying the bills, running the majority of the household and keeping up with our day to day contacts with family, friends, school and the like on email, etc. for whatever everyone else needs.  (Technically I think that's a portion of the definition of a mother isn't it?)

So, with that said, I think I'm planning to indulge soon.  No we do not have expendable cash for the purchase and I don't exactly know how I'm going to figure out where to find the money to pay for it, but something has to give.  I cannot blame my husband (entirely) for this situation, because I did not bring up the issue with him until I am so far gone angry about it that it becomes a major catastrophe - which is entirely my fault, not his.  And if he by some act of God reads this, he will read it completely wrong and assume I am ranting at him, rather than my own stubborness.  However, not aiding this is what inevitably turns into his immediate reaction when I do finally break down - that we need to sell this place and move somewhere more convenient - never small steps with him, always have to jump off the deep end of whatever we are facing.  That's not my intention, but a little help in managing a solution would be appreciated - and again, my fault for not approaching it the way it should be approached.

Needless to say, my 5 days from now I will post and will continue every week...yeah, not likely until I get this figured out.  I thought I had my ducks in a row last week.  Turns out they decided to scatter.

I Hearby Vow

Seriously, this was the outlet, the method to my madness.  My ability to escape through words from my far too busy, 4:30am to 10pm-ish life.  And I have neglected it far too much in the past year.

So, beginning yet this week I shall commit to one thing for myself that doesn't involve making certain my 5 year old can say his memory verse without fail in front of his teacher, cooking at least 4 meals a week where we actually sit together and partake of it, having the newly done laundry folded at least within 24 hours of it coming out of the dryer, planning out our weekly grocery shopping trip (trust me, this couponing thing can be a burden) and the other myriad of other things that consume me each day that drain the living spirit from my bones.  Perhaps I will then hear more often the words dearest to my heart these days. 

"Mommy!  Look!  I did it all by myself!"

Unplugged in my life sometimes means the opposite it does for most. 

Go my children, and become.  Mommy has some becoming to do as well.

Stayed tuned.  (And if you don't see something in the next 5 days, better text me.  I may have forgotten this moment of self indulgence already).

Kids Say the Darndest Things...

It's nearing the end of the school year at our daycare which means year end parties and collections of art projects handed over.

Yesterday was Jack's which is bittersweet because 2 weeks from today we will be off to "big school" starting our journey through education at Briarwood Chrisitan School in the 4K program. sniff.

Last night I sifted through the many glittered fish, pasted bunnies, handprint turkeys and construction paper wonders and came upon a section bound together of art pieces created by Jack with his descriptions of said pieces included. Items such as these fall into the PRICELESS ART GALLERY in my home. Here's a sampling of my two favorites.

The obsession continues.

See, even my 4 1/2 year old gets it...notice the resemblance to Yoda.

Thank you Ms. Catherine and Ms. Jodie for an amazing year and an amazing pack of memories that will be looked at many years from now with a smile!

Grandma Camp

My kids being the youngest on the Rath side and quite a few years off from Cullen, the last one born prior to them, are a bit "younger" in the mix of grandchildren, spanning from nearly 20 to 9. On my side, we have Caroline at 7 and then 4 boys 5 and under in the span of 14 months (mine being the bookends) and our (maybe) last little one of Alicia's is Jonah at 18months. We are just getting reved up there...

So it was a special treat for my two to spend four days at Grandma's house without Mom and Dad (we jetted off for a quick business trip to Vegas and flew out of Nashville to take the opportunity presented). We traveled down over the weekend and spent a few days all together, then flew out and left Grandma to fend for herself for four days. And other than a slight hiccup for her on the night we were to return just before bedtime when Jack thought I was calling and it wasn't me and he decided he had to talk to Mommy...which Mommy could not be reached being in the air on our way back and not to land until 11:30pm that night with an hour and a half drive back, imagine that juggling show for Grandma, phew!...they had an awesome time and are still talking about all they got to do. There was caramel corn, Reds baseball, swimming, kayaking, the library, soda fountain for milkshakes and even VBS to boot. I didn't get many pictures, but I did manage to record this video after we returned of the Memory Verse that they learned at VBS.

Grandma - this one is for you! Thank you for giving Cory and I that bit of time (even if it was for work) but mostly for spending time with Jack and Duke! We've been playing the Ten Commandments CD in the car every morning, Jack's favorite seems to be "Don't Bow Down to Idols". I asked today if they knew what the "Honor Your Mom and Dad" commandment meant. The response from Duke, "I don't know"...I have my work cut out for me but this tidbit makes me believe I'm headed in the right direction.

Play Ball!

The south is notorious for starting kids EARLY in organized sports. Cory and I are not so quick to jump on that bandwagon. Having played all his growing up years and pitching college baseball and being very good at it as well (damn you achilles tendons! I could be a trophy MLB wife right now!), you would think he would be more apt to push his own kids toward the sport, but truly, he's the opposite. He couldn't care less if they play or not, and for that I love him more.

He did however buy them a tee, some balls and a couple of bats and gloves recently to have something to occupy their time outside. Here is a little peak of Sunday afternoon on the ranch.

It's coming Grandma...and it does seem we have at least one possible lefty or switch hitter. (I think Daddy is a itty bitty bit ok with that)

Up For Air

Exhale.  Big Exhale.

The past two months have been a whirlwind.  April and May are always really busy in our lives.  It's the start of the spring/summer and the weather is amazing.  Cory usually has a bit of a travel break with work so we can work in our annual vacation and it's always the special time Dad visits for his annual trip for the Birmingham Botanical Garden Plant Sale where we brace the crowds and find great deals for my gardening habit.

This year we got the bonus visit from Aunt Clare - which was so awesome, for both of us.  She well deserved a weekend away and I loved having her here for the first time in 5 years to see our home and life since the kids were born.  And the bonus, some much needed sister time and SHOPPING!

We also squeezed in a visit with the Eades on a quick trip to Jekyll Island for our vacation.  The boys were all about the "swamp trees" and although the pool's heater was turned off for the year so it was a bit chilly to brave, the hot tub proved a favorite spot as did Summer Waves water park.  It was so wonderful to see the Eades home and get to visit with all of them.  And downtown Brunswick reminded me of the unique old homes of my hometown minus the swamp trees.

In between we had April 27th...forever changing the face of the state of Alabama and honestly, although I want to devote a post in itself to that day/night, I just haven't been ready.  I spent most of the rest of that week in a fog and I think I had a glimpse of what people experience with PTSD.  Now, I am not so selfish as to expect sympathy for myself given that our lives did not change one red cent with the storms and in fact my memories of our personal situation that night are quite hilarious, which is what my post will likely be when I do write it.  However, I could not tear myself away from the constant local media coverage, which is still a regular mainstay of the daily news, as it should be.  As a result, I spent a lot of time living in the "what if" scenario that is so dangerous.  To hide from my thoughts, I buried myself in work and the school annual Teacher Appreciation event and Cory graciously picked up the slack in handling the majority of the household / cooking / kid taking care of jobs.  I really spent a lot of that time in a fog, I could not get motivated as much as I usually am and found myself taking a lot of respite time to just sit back and consider life.  I have never been more thankful for the moments I have - including the last two days at home with the kids treating pinkeye and the stomach bug the boys have had- thank you Reckitt-Benckiser- and Cory has probably never been more thankful for me to get my butt in gear and get back to "normal". 

And this past Sunday we celebrated with our 4th Annual Summer Kickoff Memorial Day Party.  Again it was so wonderful to have our friends join us at our place for swimming, visiting, food and fun.  We had the most incredible weather this year, 90's no humidity, perfect to get wet and the lake was up to the task the water warming up steadily throughout the month.  And our best friends, Adam and Crystal Schober brought it up a notch, hooking us up with an awesome water slide that the kids really enjoyed.  We had new friends and old friends join us, a few regulars that sadly couldn't make it, but once again, great memories were made.  Including Jack telling everyone that we were having the party to honor the soldiers who are protecting our toys and land from "Amwar Al-Malaki" who is a bad guy and doesn't have God in his heart.  I've already told Cory - no more Fox News when the kids are within earshot.

No story is better shared than with pictures.  So here's the annual slide show.  If you missed it, put it on the calendar next year because it's a given we'll be here.  And if you made it - thanks for coming, we are so glad you did!



and if you are wondering about that day after the party...I'm still in denial.